“Most people would rather be certain they're
miserable, than risk being happy."
— Robert Anthony
“Happiness is a conscious choice,
not an automatic response."
— Mildred Barthel
[Classic post from 3-6-11]
Someone said to me that they have very little joy in their life. I said that the good news about that is that you can start right now having joy. Then, I heard the BUT list, and after several buts, I decided to continue on my journey away from them.
And it is true, you know, that joy is ready, willing, and able to be a part of our lives any time we decide we want it. That sounds easy, and I know for some this would be too simple, so I'll share some ideas that have worked extremely well for me. In the past, I rarely had joy and now I experience it many times every single day–and I have found so many different levels of joy as well.
First and foremost is deciding I want joy. Some people say they want it, and they don't really mean that. Decide to have joy and lots of it.
Second. The fastest way to joy is to suspend judgment about all the things that I don't like. Do it at least for a short time as a test.
Third. Once judgment is suspended, then the trick is to focus on what helps me feel better. It really doesn't matter what it is, or who it is. It can be a thought from my past, the view out my window of the trees swaying, a dog wagging its tail. Just focus on things that encourage us to feel better, however temporary.
Fourth. Practice it constantly. If it works for 30 seconds, it can work for 5 minutes, and then 30 minutes, two hours, and so on. If you practice it enough, there won't ever be any problems that create unhappiness again. It will just be a temporary bump that is navigated more and more easily as time goes on.
That's it. It's just a matter of deciding to feel good and finding ways to do so and also avoiding things that don't feel good. It really is that easy.
Happiness is an inside job. It is not something someone else can give us, it is something we choose to give ourselves. If our happiness depends on external circumstances, events, or other people, we are doomed to an unhappy life. Once that is a habit, the BUT list gets longer and longer.
It is okay to feel good regardless of what is going on. Who's in charge, anyway?
There Is No Pursuit Of Happiness. It Is Just A Choice.
Spread Some Joy Today–decide to be happy today. Find things that help you feel good. Pull out some photos, think of someone you really love, dream about something that feels great. It's all good.