“It is not he who reviles or strikes you who insults you,
but your opinion that these things are insulting."
“The rule is perfect: In all matters of
opinion, our adversaries are insane."
— Mark Twain
[Classic post from 4-21-11]
It is human desire and nature to want to feel good and to be liked. Many times, others’ opinions have been known to have an adverse effect on us. Much of that training came from our childhood upbringing, wanting to please our parents so they will be pleased with us, and so on. Here’s some of what I’ve learned about feeling good and being liked, and it has been a critical thing to learn, and it is never too late.
I’ve found only one way for us to be guaranteed to feel good and be liked and that is to start with ourselves.
When I was a kid, we used to talk about self-confident people as being conceited or loving themselves (as if that is a bad thing!). Of course, some of them were what we might call overly self-confident, bordering on arrogance. However, in looking back, I recognize that it takes a certain amount of courage to step out there and be vulnerable in front of others. It’s a risk that so many of us weren’t ready to take.
I know that I was always looking outside of myself for approval, and of course, it feels good to have approval from others, especially people we respect and like. The only trouble with looking outside for approval is they may not approve. Their opinion may be different from ours and maybe they even feel strongly about it. We can go find another, and another until we find the approval and opinions we want, or we can do something far better and more effective: Get them from ourselves.
When we begin with the firm foundation of loving and appreciating ourselves, and trusting in our own mental guidance system and our own opinion of ourselves and what we do, there is nothing that can hold us back. When we have our own approval, we do not need it from others. If they happen to give it, fine. If they don’t, fine. We can do very nicely without it. THAT is confidence.
How is this achieved? Practice. Begin, then practice. Begin by becoming aware of your thinking when it comes to your own decisions, how you feel when you hear things from others about you. Next, seek to feel good rather than bad. Look in the mirror and begin saying positive things instead of picking yourself apart. Say kind things to yourself throughout the day. Seek to find what’s right instead of wrong. When someone gives you their opinion, tell yourself that this is their opinion, not your own. Always find better feeling thoughts–even moment to moment.
As you practice, your confidence level will begin increasing and you will become that self-confident person you always wanted to be. I’m proof enough that this works and I practice it every single day, even throughout the day. Never again will you be devastated by what any other, or multiple others say or think about you or what you do. That is a great day!
In The End, It Is Always The Same: There Is Only One Opinion That Really Counts–Your Own.
Spread Some Joy Today–Today is a good day to start increasing the value of your own opinion of yourself. Most people are a thousand times better than they make themselves out to be. You are a brilliant, talented creator.