“If you change the way you look at things,
the things you look at change.”
the things you look at change.”
— Wayne Dyer
I love this quote because I have seen it play out exactly this way in my life so many times. Here’s an example or two:
I have a fetish about women. I love to look at them. Now, it’s not what you think. It isn’t really a sexual thing, but an appreciative thing.
When I was young, I looked for the beauty and avoided the non-beauties. I had the Playboy magazine image of the perfect woman, I suppose, growing up in the sixties and all.
Then, just a few years ago, I decided one day to find something beautiful in every woman I would see. At first, some were a challenge, but I had so much fun with it, that it got easy very quickly. As I would see something beautiful about them–their hair, their eyes, the glow of their skin, the way they walked or talked or whatever–I would praise it internally and sort of tell them mentally how I appreciated that aspect in them.
Soon, I began complimenting many aloud, whether someone I knew or a total stranger. It’s amazing to see their face light up when that happens, but the interesting thing that happened to me is that I have found all women to be beautiful. There are no more non-beauties.
I do this all the time now, and have a wonderful time of it.
Then, there’s the house I live in. It’s a plain old 3/2 single story 1100 sq ft tract house built in 1965 that I bought from one of my salesmen in 1983 when I was 34 years old. At that age, I had moved 43 times in my life and was so tired of moving, that I just didn’t want to deal with it. I liked this house having been there before, so when I found they were selling it, I jumped on it.
The neighborhood was not ideal. In fact two blocks away or so, there were gunshots very regularly when I first moved in and up to the first couple of years. The police finally got that under control, but they neighborhood was not the upper crust, with some homes in poor condition, etc.
I used to sit outside in a courtyard in the front on a swing that was left by the previous owner, and there I began to see a different neighborhood. And now, it has changed so much in my mind. I love it and feel pretty comfortable. It is quiet generally and you might think otherwise since there have always been a lot of kids around. Having lived here this long, I almost have squatter’s rights now, and the ethnicity of the neighborhood has changed dramatically, yet I love it the same. Though I would love a bigger (especially more closets!), fancier, house, I have not brought myself to make a move and am just plain happy where I am.
This scenario of deciding to like something and then seeing that what I was previously seeing was no longer there has played out in business, my personal life and in such a variety of ways. It really is true that you see what you choose to see, and that we are about as happy as we decide we are.
“. . . Turn Your Heartache Right Into Joy. . .Love The One You’re With” — Stephen Stills
Spread Some Joy Today–Turn your heartache or pain in the you know what into joy today by finding that thing and looking at what bothers you differently until it no longer bothers you. It is a sure path to peace and joy.