We get to choose. In fact, we are totally in charge of choosing. Not only that, we create what we choose to create, so we have the ultimate power of our own experience. Knowing this is one thing, and actually acting it out moment by moment is another, yet once realized, once understood, my mind cannot go back. Once I have realized that the world is round and not flat as so many have stated, I can no longer see it as flat.
Yesterday I wrote about the feeling of being adored and finding ways to renew and replicate feelings that I like and want. Those feelings are in my memory else I would not know what they were, so I can jog my memory, and feel them again, and I can also renew and expand them using my imagination.
There was a time when I felt adored by my late wife. It was glorious. Whenever another puts that kind of attention on you, it feels magical, and it is often automatically returned. Then it stopped. Life gets in the way. The honeymoon is over. Shit happens. Things change. However, I might want to say it matters less than the fact that it stopped. Did I change? Did I become less? How can I get that glorious feeling back? I miss it. I want it. I crave it. And yet, it is gone.
I tried all kinds of things to bring those great feelings back around again. I got some here and there, but not the big one that I missed so much. I settled for what I could get, and I felt that as creative as I could get, I was not creative enough.
It wasn’t up to me. It was up to her. Or was it? Was it really up to her? In my now wisdom, I have learned that when we rely on others for how we want to feel, that it is quite a hit and miss affair. Trying to get others to do anything is all about the finesse of manipulation. It has very few rewards and is very unreliable.
I have learned that as a creator, I have the power within me to feel as I choose to feel anytime I choose to feel it. That includes the most glorious feeling of being adored and being loved unconditionally. Shit still happens, and life still gets in the way, but nowhere near as much as it used to because I realize that the world is round, and I cannot even imagine it as flat anymore. In other words, I am in control of how I feel and I can no longer go back to hoping others make me feel how I want to feel.
I have learned a lot in the last two years flying solo. I have learned so much more about the power I have within to create whatever I want. I haven’t experienced making use of that knowledge as I desire, and I know it. I don’t want to beat up on myself for any of that as it is okay to take my time at the moment. But I know that the world is round now, and I can’t go back to having it be flat. In other words, I know now that I am a creator, and I cannot go back to a world where things just happen to me and I have to find a way to deal with it. I get to choose.
My reminders on my walls and desktop are just that. Reminders that I have the power to feel however I choose to feel when I choose to feel it.
One thing I didn’t mention yesterday was that we have the power to choose to not only adore ourselves but for all others. I mention this only from this perspective: It is not to adore someone else so that it is returned. It may or may not be. It is to feel the feeling ourselves. One way to feel adored is to exercise the action of adoring.
And this too is something I practice every single day. Another word for adoration is appreciation. I find so many things to appreciate or to adore every day. I adore little Charlie more every day. I adore the people at the bank every time I walk in there. I adore the weather, whatever it may be at the moment. I look in the mirror and smile at my reflection and say how handsome I am and how I love my body, praising parts of it. I used to find faults in every view, and now I find things to praise. Regardless of the current shape. I even praise that. My body has so much flexibility and creative placement!
I am learning to feel what I want to feel. My reminders help me remember that I have that choice. I’ll listen to some great music and enjoy that. I am enjoying my life. It feels like I always wanted to enjoy my life this way, but back then I didn’t realize I had all the control within me. Now I do.
What Are Your Most Glorious Feelings? How Can You Feel Them Again And Again? You Are Totally In Control Of How You Choose To Feel.
Spread Some Joy Today–by choosing.