When people do something that isn’t to your liking, there are many times an immediate reaction that may involve words and/or actions. There are so many ways that someone can push our buttons and create a reaction and sometimes people may even do it on purpose for a variety of reasons.
I have focused many years on reducing anger and especially reactive anger, and in many situations, I have succeeded very well. As each situation comes up, I notice how I am feeling, and then I make a conscious decision to let it go. Other people can be angry or have issues and that is on them and I don’t have to go along. I have the power to choose for myself.
Today was a glorious day and I didn’t do a bit of work and just went on a nice ride with little Charlie the dog, taking him on walks, getting a breve latte, enjoying the weather. You know, having a good time. As I’m coming over the hill from Napa back home, there are so many people in such a hurry and several of them were just riding my tail. They must watch too much NASCAR racing because being that close is dangerous, to say the least, and on a windy road to boot.
As each of the several that did that came upon me, I felt such pressure to get out of their way, but there just wasn’t much opportunity based on the road. I could see in the rearview mirror that they were extremely impatient and visually upset that I was in their way even though I was going the speed limit or better.
I had several thoughts. . . How about I slam on the brakes and have you buy me a new car? Maybe I should show you how I feel with one finger! I felt my body tense up and noticing what I was feeling and thinking, I chose to let go, pull over when I could and not give it much thought.
When people are pushing you–and we all know there are lots of ways to do that–it is almost an instinctive reaction to push back. A while back I wrote about some Judo training I took as a teenager and how Judo is more the art of using your opponent’s energy to foil their attacks. In other words, go with the flow, let it flow past you, only control it, don’t fight it or push against the forces.
The only decision that made any sense to me now was to release the tension in my body by changing my reactive thoughts and allow them to go by when it was safe. This I did. It is only my willingness to practice that helps me to grow beyond instinctive reaction and dissolve provocation.
Awareness And A Willingness To Practice Are Key Ingredients.
Spread Some Joy Today–by showing your gratitude in some way today. You have so much to be thankful for.