Yesterday, I was looking on the bottom shelf of my bookcase and saw two very thick binders of old writings from the ’70s and ’80s. I’ve tried to keep a diary in bits and spurts, and not many of them, and yet there are many hundreds of pages in those binders. Most of it is dribble I think, but even the dribble has moments that shine. I read one lengthy bit from early 1987, more than 30 years ago now, and I found it interesting enough to keep reading.
Mostly it was just thoughts that I was thinking, trying to understand myself and the world around me. Some of the shining moments were expressing my desire to love others without conditions, and loving myself as part of that. Of course back then it was mostly thoughts and not so much action, but first, comes the thought then comes the action.
Translating what I was going through then, what I was learning then to now, the biggest difference I see is not the thinking, but the action. Back then, I was still hoping for the world to change, waiting for circumstances to change so that I could step in and enjoy the fruits of that new world. Didn’t happen. Still hasn’t if I were thinking and acting like I was then. But, I live in a very different world now.
The world has changed. The external world around me has changed. It is a far better world from my point of view now, and that change came only by changing my own inner world.
Here’s the interesting part to me about that. I didn’t get here by gaining, but by losing. I didn’t get here by gathering, but by letting go. I didn’t get here by finding answers, but by answering questions. I didn’t get here by finding new beliefs, but by releasing beliefs. I didn’t get here by strengthening my will, but by softening my heart.
Questions are key. One of the questions that I have asked myself that is very important is this: How do I want to feel?
Everything we do, every decision we make, every action we take is done in order to feel something. Generally to feel better. To feel relieved. To feel joy. To feel loved. To feel accomplishment. To feel satisfaction. To feel happy. To feel rich. To feel love. All of that resonates with us because when we are resonating, we are in alignment with who we really are, or we could say, in alignment with our inner being, our God within, our soul. The word doesn’t matter, but the resonance does.
When we think, decide, act and it feels other than these, it is out of resonance, or in discordance. What is interesting about history is how often we have come to accept these feelings as reality, when they are personal choices becoming our own inner reality. We could call this separation from our Source, separation from God, out of alignment.
What I have realized in all my travels in knowledge is that the truths that we seek are not without us, but within us. We know a truth by its resonance. That’s why they say that truth resonates within us. That knowledge that is found outside of us is fine if it resonates. If it doesn’t resonate, if it is discordant with our inner knowing, it is good to question it. As we believe things that are in discordance within us, we move further away from truth.
I have not arrived at a world that is airy-fairy and all good-feeling and eternally happy. I have realized that there are things that I will like and things I will not like. Positive and negative are abound in this life; however, how I interpret that is purely up to me. What I call that is purely my choice. How I feel about that is purely a personal decision.
It Is A Brave New World! It Is So To Me.
Spread Some Joy Today–by choosing as you will and enjoying as you will because you will.