“A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances,
but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.”
— Hugh Downs
Sometimes people can disappoint us. We may find out that they have cracks in their plaster, tarnish on their armor. Such it is to be human.
This issue is often one of perception. We have a tendency to put people on pedestals and lift them up as if they are someone so much more special than ourselves. We do this with movie stars, sports stars all the time. Then, as soon as that star player gets a DUI or some other public infringement, we have a tendency to turn on them and then talk about them as if they were the plague. This is called conditional love.
The reality is that it isn’t their problem, it is our own. We are the ones putting them on a pedestal and when they fall off it is our own fault, not theirs. It is the ridiculous expectations that we give them, that they may fail to live up to that is unreasonable.
The solution and a better way of life in my own learned experience is to just love people. Love them as they are, warts and all. Don’t love them as they could be, but love them as they are this moment. In other words, practice UNconditional love. Love’s value is in the lack of condition, not in the condition. People cannot disappoint us unless we give them a set of circumstances they must meet in order to not disappoint us.
I’ll admit, this unconditional love stuff is not so easy at first because we’ve learned the conditional love so well. Nonetheless, the reward you will experience by practicing unconditional love will be such that you will amazed and in awe of its magnificence. You will begin to look at everyone around you differently. You will hear or read about things famous people have done and you will no longer speak ill of them–indeed, or of anyone about anything. As you practice, you will get better as with any practice, and the rewards are beyond just being worth it.
It is not the circumstances that create the problem, it is the way we think about it. Choose to think about it differently and the circumstances must change.
Happiness Is Just A Thought Away. . .
Spread Some Joy Today–Just love people today. Just love them for who they are. Don’t wish they were better. They are perfect the way they are–right now!