It continues to amaze me how when I read, listen, or watch something, how one or two phrases, or one little idea, screams for my attention. It’s like I saw, read, or listened to the whole thing just for that one little gem. But, I’ll come back to that in a minute.
When my late wife, Nancy and I first came together as a couple in 1987, there were so many of those young, infatuated lover kind of things. One that touches me with joy and wonder every time I even think about it is that when I left the house for work in the morning, and because the house is on the corner, I would drive out, turn right and through the trees and bushes in the courtyard in the front of the house, I would see Nancy out of the corner of my eye at first, with a huge smile, obvious joy, waving at me as if she was wishing me a perfect day and that she was so happy to be with me and that she would miss me until I came home again. I can’t even express how touching that was. It was special.
Then, each time I would leave, I would look through the courtyard view to see if she was there. At some point, she stopped doing it. I don’t know if I ever told her how special that was to me, but if I didn’t, I certainly should have.
Somewhat later when I began working at home and Nancy was going off to work, I began doing the same thing to her. I did it many, many times, regularly, then sporadically, but I don’t think she ever looked over to see me there. I should have told her that too.
So back to the beginning. I saw a Super Soul Session on www.supersoul.tv with Marianne Williamson. I’ve been a fan of hers since I first read her book, A Return To Love, long ago. Near the end of her talk about relationships, comparing spiritual relationships with human experience relationships, and more, she came to some practical advice or thoughts. She said that when she would talk to people about relationships that some would ask, “How do we make our relationships better?” And she said, “I’ll say, when your husband left for work this morning, did you pray for his happiness?” That last line is what screamed at me.
She went on to talk about other kinds of relationships, as with children, friends, co-workers, etc., that it is equally important to pray for their well-being and happiness, and that becoming more centered spiritually, leading to being more loving and centered in our human environment is a practical art. In her words, she said, “with spiritual practice, we train our attitudinal muscles.” She said, it doesn’t just miraculously arrive, but we need to choose it and use it or lose it (my words).
Marianne’s video and that one sentence surrounded by supporting material reminded me of what is important and special. Nancy coming out and demonstrating her love and joy was oh so special. It was so special that it brings tears to my eyes right now just thinking of how I felt then, and can still feel now from that very simple demonstration.
In Marianne’s video near the beginning, she said that, “It’s not about me. It’s not about you. It’s about US.” It is the interactions–or it is the relationships that matter in our experience, and yet we cannot ignore the fact that we ‘feel’ separate though we’re really all connected. She said that our souls are not contained within our human body frame, and that they extend out connecting with all souls.
But, whether you believe her thoughts about the soul or not doesn’t matter. The practical message she brought fits all circumstance and all relationships. Finding a way to connect is key. Some are intimate and we allow more closeness, and more of our vulnerability, and others are more superficial, but all are valuable. Kindness never fails because it is in the giving of our kindness that we are made whole. How the other receives that kindness is not up to us.
We can be in our own thoughts, remembering hurts and disappointments, or we can let go (forgiveness) and remember to pray for the happiness of the other (kindness, love). We can say thank you, and we can share stories of things that touch us. Remember to celebrate your relationships.
U + i = US.
Spread Some Joy Today–by celebrating your love today. Find your joy again, and let it flow out of you.