“If the only tool you have is a hammer,
you tend to see every problem as a nail.”
— Abraham Maslow
“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking
new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”
— Marcel Proust
“What we see depends mainly on what we look for.”
— John Lubbock
“Advice to children crossing the street:
Damn the lights. Watch the cars.
The lights ain’t never killed nobody.”
— Moms Mabley
Times are tough, or so they say (whoever they are), and they remain tough until we no longer think they are tough. It’s easy to say, and harder to believe.
I know a few people who lost their positions and some were in that position a long time. It’s easy to sympathize with them and commiserate with them about their unfortunate loss. Many might think me strange, but I just don’t do that anymore. Instead, I rejoice in their loss. I’ll explain.
If you think just about that act: commiserate with them or rejoice in their loss, which do you think helps them more? Which helps me more? I know for a fact that it isn’t commiserate because that just keeps them where they are wallowing in self-pity or re-experiencing the loss again and again looking for sympathy and understanding.
As I look back on my life of 61 years, I can clearly see at this vantage point that each and every change in my life led me to a better place with more joy, not less. Even when I see how horrible it seemed like at the time and how much I wanted to wallow and even did many times. Still–each and every time–it was for the best. Many times, it was even so much better that I couldn’t have imagined it to be such.
So now, I’ve learned that everything that happens is good in some way and so I celebrate. I get excited. I tell them how excited I am for them. You know why? Because I am! I know how so many of those so-called bummer events turned out to be spectacular successes, so I know it will be for them too. They just need a nudge to break loose.
I put the Moms Mabley quote in there because we just get hung up on the rules sometimes. We lose track of what to do without the signs. And, we need new eyes when something like losing a position comes along. Heck, I think we need eyes that see a picture of going and thanking the person that fired you and pouring blessings on them! Because the next thing is going to be so damn awesome that it will be a blessing! Damn the rules. Make your own game!
Moving on to something else after doing something for a long time is a challenge. I know. It’s happened to me and I can relate to how it feels. The main thing I found was that I had to take a break and allow myself to have a different thought. After 30 years in the car business, I got fired. I’ve said that it was the happiest day of my life, and I think it still is, but after doing something like that for almost all my adult life up to that point, I just couldn’t wrap my mind around anything else but going back to another dealership and doing the familiar thing somewhere else. I hated that idea of being stuck like that, so I took a break and just chilled. Then, I began to entertain other ideas and I began picturing myself doing something else and not only doing it, but being very good at it and so on. It worked like a magic potion.
Like the quote says, what we see has everything to do with what we look for or at. Sometimes we’re just so hung up on what’s happened that we can’t seem to get past it and that just holds us to it like an anchor.
Ever watched trapeze artists? When they flip one person to the other person, they have to let go of them before they can be picked up. Letting go of what was can be a challenge, but it will be the only way of being able to grasp the new. Embrace the change. Change is natural, needed, and beneficial. It will not just be okay, it will be exciting, new and most excellent.
Renewal Is A Wonderful Time Of Life . . .
Spread Some Joy Today–I think Renewal comes after Spring, or is it after Summer? Well, where ever it is, it brings joy to you and there will be plenty to share.