[Classic post from 12-6-15]
George Bernard Shaw said, “Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”
We are often lulled into believing that it is always our action that creates, but that is way off base. It is absolutely our thoughts that create, which will become our beliefs when thought about often enough because a belief is just a thought we continue to think. Our actions or our body is the physical embodiment of our thoughts. You could say that it demonstrates what our dominant thoughts have been.
Yesterday, while out walking Charlie, or better said, as he was out walking me, on the final leg of our little journey, I saw a man whom I’ve seen several times in his three-wheel low-riding bicycle that he uses for exercise. Each time I’ve seen him, he seemed pleasant and upbeat. One time he was talking with a woman jogger and asked me to take their picture on her phone. But today, he was just beginning his trek and he asked me my name. Then he told me his as we shook hands. About five minutes later, all I said was my name. He was talking fast and non-stop all about him.
As I left him, wanting to remember his name, Vincent. I thought, Vincent the innocent. That’s a good way to remember it. I came up with that because in his entire conversation with me, he was innocent and the world dished out bad things to him in many ways.
All the time he talked and got into detail about his surgeries on his back, taking a bone out of his leg to fix a toe, how the doctors messed that up and now he lives in non-stop pain. How he was told he needed another operation on his back, but after talking to someone who had that operation and ended up paralyzed, he has refused that treatment. The paralyzed person told him that he is better to live with the pain than end up like him.
He told me about his grown daughters, all college graduates who are doing various things in various parts of the country as he and his wife live in this apartment complex.
There was more about the pain, and especially the struggle, and he talks as if he has resigned himself to that kind of life and has become okay with it. All the while he is talking, I am looking intently into his eyes. All the time he is talking, he smiles and laughs here and there as if to indicate that he is happy enough even though he was dealt with this ugly hand of cards.
I sent him my love of acceptance, of encouragement, of allowing. For me to have said anything would not have been helpful. Sometimes we are better to say less and just love them the way they are right now.
But Vincent the innocent is gaming himself. He’s trying to act like he’s okay with his lot in life and all the time complaining of how his life has become. Even with so much unnecessary detail. Anyone could see that he is trying, and he talks as if he is proud of his strength and determination to deal with his bodily issues. There’s no need to speak of any of that, yet he can’t help it. This is where he is focused.
As Abraham has said, “Everyone is responsible for the thoughts they think and the things that they choose as their objects of attention.” We may not often believe that about ourselves, but we can instantly see and hear it in other people. That is one of the most beneficial things about human interaction–that we can see ourselves or what we once may have been in others.
It is only a mirage to be happy and complain at the same time. It is only a mirage to struggle and have peace at the same time. Overcoming the struggle is not powering through, it is finding a way to enjoy that journey by releasing the resistance of the struggle allowing the enjoyment of the living to come through clearly.
Consider how many times, and even if it is also now, that you pretend to be happy around others–your coworkers, family, spouse, friends–and speak of complaints at the same time. Consider the physical issues too. Consider the thoughts running around in your head and pay attention to them. What are they saying? Consider the words coming out of your mouth. What are they saying? What are they meaning? More importantly, how are you feeling during these times?
Happiness speaks of happy thoughts. Pain speaks of pain thoughts. They don’t speak to each other. They are in different places entirely.
Heart With Your Speak?
Spread Some Joy Today–by loving people just the way they are as you choose for yourself that which satisfies you.