Today is the fourth post in a series of posts on the subject of gratitude.
It is so easy to become grateful for the “good” things. Those things and events that feel good, or positive, or bring us joy are easy to love. This requires no practice. It is something everyone does. However, to become grateful for things we don’t agree with, feel crappy about, or just don’t feel right is a serious challenge to most.
If we were to look at this detour from our trip to become grateful as a problem, the problem would be our beliefs. A belief is just a thought we keep thinking over and over again and a belief can be changed by changing the underlying thinking that creates the belief. In other words, we have to change our minds and think differently. The symptom of this problem is labeling. When we call something good or bad, mistakes or success, positive or negative, and so on, these are just labels we have assigned to these feelings. They are judgments.
If we are going to become a grateful person, we need to change our thinking and our labels or our judgments. An easy way to do this is to call all things experiences. When we do this, it eases the judgment and allows us to consider gratitude for the experience and the outcome. After all, the outcome is the outcome. Whatever it is or was, is or was. It isn’t really good or bad except in our thinking and labels.
Mistakes in the past cannot be corrected or put behind you. They cannot be done over. They cannot be fixed or repaired. They are what they are. If we call them mistakes, we give that event or experience far more power than it deserves. Our best hope is to release our hold on it. It isn’t holding on to us, we are holding on to it. We do that for a variety of reasons but rest assured, we are always in charge even when we say we are not.
As with yesterday’s post, I think the metaphor of letting go of the rope is so appropriate and effective. Just drop the rope. Let go completely. Rename this thing an experience. You might even say, “I had this experience and this was the outcome. It is what it is and it was what it was. It has no hold on me. I release my attention to it right now.” Lay the rope down and do not pick it back up.
Now see if there is anything you have learned from that experience. Find something you have benefited from, anything. Begin to appreciate the experience. Be grateful that it happened and praise yourself for making that choice then. There is always a benefit. Every experience has value and importance. Accept responsibility for making the choices, and allow it to be.
One day I was fired from a really good job. It was the happiest day of my life. It was sheer joy and elation. It changed my life for the better and released me to make the changes that have led me to where I am now. This is always true and would be accepted this way if people would allow this thinking. Instead, they are often depressed, or lost. But remember, we are always in charge. I created my own firing. It wasn’t something that happened to me. I arranged it consciously or unconsciously, but I arranged it nonetheless.
With this approach, you can become a grateful person for everything in your life regardless of what you or others have previously labeled things. The calm contentment that follows is amazing.
You Get To Choose Your Labels And Your Thoughts On All Levels.
Spread Some Joy Today–Isn’t it joyful to realize that you are so in control of things? It is a joyful thing.