“We spend January 1 walking through our lives,
room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done,
cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance
the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives. . .
not looking for flaws, but for potential.”
— Ellen Goodman
It must be a learned response that we learn very young. I have a hard time believing it is human nature; however, it seems that many, if not most of us, have a tendency to look at what is wrong; what is broken, or to pick out flaws, than to see what is good, or what is right, or what is working. It is a curious thing.
We lean more toward the problems than the virtues. We see what employee’s do wrong, or poorly, rather than bolster up what they do well. We might reward good behavior, yet spend three times as much time and energy in the same meeting covering the failures, the misses, the work that is left to be done and so on. This often serves to negate the rewards, or at least it decreases their effect.
We look at a paint job on a car and if there is a flaw, we go right to it. It’s really that way when we look in the mirror. We go right up against the mirror so our breath fogs it up and look at those flaws in great detail, fussing over them and cursing their existence. Thank goodness people don’t get that close to us, right?
Well, where ever it came from, why ever it is functioning that way, I think that we all should make a pact to remember to remember to praise, praise, praise and praise some more. Let’s remember to seek that which works, reward that which works and ignore that which does not.
Let’s remember to compliment one another as often as humanly possible, even if it is a very simple thing. Let’s remember to look at each other looking for the best points, the things we like about that person, or even if we think we don’t, look for the things we think we could like if we wanted to like them–just in case.
Let’s remember to give love and preferably not expect anything in return. Let’s uncondition our love and imagine that we have a supply so deep and wide that it would be impossible to reach in your love bag and not find any to give away. It is constantly and never-endingly full as if it were the size of the Pacific Ocean in your bag. If there are any of those cold pricklies left in there, let’s throw them on the fire and turn them into gas and blow them away.
There are so many little ways to show each other some love. A smile is a really good place to start. You can just feel the love from a smile, can’t you? I know I can, and I cannot resist to show one back.
Let’s remember to be more gentle and more slow to anger. Take deep breaths and count your bountiful blessings, for they are many no matter who you are. Wake up in the morning and count them first thing, last thing before z-land, count them again. Count them during the day. Write about them. Blog about them. Facebook about them.
Be a builder-upper instead of a tearer-downer. We in America are always on the hunt for who we can blame about whatever we don’t like. It’s a national obsession. It’s time to do a 180 degree turn on that and America will be on the hunt for what ever is cool, good, refreshing, encouraging, and loving. We will find who to praise instead of who to blame.
All of this is simple to do. We begin with us, not caring if anyone joins us or not. We do it because we feel that way and we share because we have that joy that requires us to share. And the world is a wonderful place at our place first, then one more joins, then another, then the whole place will be rockin’.
Get your party hats on! It’s party time!
If It Is To Be, It Must Start With Me. I Create A Better World Everyday In Some Meaningful Way.
Spread Some Joy Today–By practicing on purpose.