“I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better.”
– Abraham Lincoln
“I destroy my enemies when I make them my friends.”
– Abraham Lincoln
Have you ever met someone you just don’t like? I’m sure you have. I have met several. It’s like they just rub you the wrong way somehow. Sometimes, it is hard to even put your finger on what it is exactly. Sometimes it is glaringly clear! You might even have some choice words for how you would describe those. I know I have.
When I was in grade school, I had the pleasure of dealing with a number of bullies. I was an easy target, I’m sure. They were always acting so tough. You know, the kind who grow up to be big, burly men who like to hit women and children to show off their strength. (Just a touch of sarcasm. . .) Anyway, every once in a while, I would see a crack in their facade and actually see a human being in there. Just like me.
When I was a very young sales manager, I had a Chevy factory rep call on me. He was rude and arrogant, never called before he just showed up and expected me to drop everything and deal with him. One day, I decided to say something to him. I said, “I don’t like you. You are rude and arrogant. You never let me know you’re coming and you want me to drop everything to listen to you.” Well, you should have seen his chin hit the ground! He was shocked. He earnestly wanted to know more about why I felt that way and he vowed to change it immediately. We actually became friends. He invited me and my wife to dinner at their house and until they got transferred, we had a great relationship.
Sometimes people might need a little jolt to wake them out of their habitual operation. They may have no idea what effect they are having on people. Other times, you might need to catch them when they are alone and start up a conversation to learn more about them.
I can truthfully say that every person that I have not liked, when I learned more about them, I liked them more and even began to respect them, and perhaps even understand them in why they have the facade that hides the real person from most others. It’s very much like the wizard in the Wizard of Oz. “Ignore that man behind the curtain!” How can I? That is the real deal!
Enemies. Ever have any? People working against you, doing what they can to be victorious over you? When I make them friends by refusing to fight in the war, they can become friends instead.
I learned a good deal about this from a very good friend named Dallan Santos. Why? Dallan just seems to love everybody with such a passion, that there is no such thing as an adversary. It is delightful and interesting to watch. Has such enthusiasm. You can see and feel the love he exudes in his face. He will just hug you until you soften. He doesn’t give up. I’ve watched him turn angry buttheads into milktoast. He has that touch. He just loves people and I think he can see right through anyones facade. That is a powerfully good thing. Taking an adversary and making them a friend is one of the greatest successes possible in life, I think.
You know, we are all just looking for love and recognition and understanding. The more we give those things to other people, the more we get for ourselves. It is so interesting how that works. You have to give in order to get. Ahead of time.
Makes you just want to go find someone you don’t like and make them a friend!
I Can Never, Ever Have Enough Friends!
Spread Some Joy Today–Tell A Few People You Love Them. It Will Make Their Day!