“We judge others by their behavior.
We judge ourselves by our intentions.”
– Ian Percy
“Judge not, that ye be not judged.
For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged:
and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.”
– The Bible, King James Version, St. Matthew 7:1-2
Yesterday, I talked about happiness. I did not mention it then, but one key to being a more happy person is becoming less judgmental of others.
It is so easy to judge others by their behavior, their looks, the words they speak, their attitude (such a vast subject. . .). Maybe it is because they are different from you or maybe it is someone who is in a position of authority and they are not doing things the way you would have them done. It is so easy that it is almost natural to judge others.
Putting ourselves above another is the main reason we judge. We think we are better, smarter, wiser, cooler, better dressed, whatever. The more we think we are right, the less right anyone else can be. There is no win-win in the judgement scenario.
Because being judgmental is entrenched in our thinking, it is good to work at removing it and the way to do that is practicing it–on purpose. Start with awareness that you are doing it. Then, pay attention to what you are thinking and saying to others and when you think or hear something judgmental, stop immediately–even mid-sentence.
Instead of the judgement, find ways to praise that person. Find things that you like about them and praise that. Praise is the most effective counter to judgement. Finding ways to like someone is so powerful. Everyone has positive qualities and though some people may keep them under wraps, they are there to be found.
When you find them and praise them, magical things happen. You will find that person being kinder and more respectful of you. It may even shock you. You will find that you have things in common and that will lead to even more knowledge about them. Then, as you learn more about them, you will find more to appreciate. I have known people that I disliked greatly that when I started finding things to praise about them, that I came to like and respect them a great deal. That is just fascinating to me.
Praise is attracting good things to you because you are in a positive, uplifting frame of mind and giving love. Judgment is making up your mind about someone before you know much about them. It is pushing things away from you. No good can come of it. There is such a clear difference between the two.
Now, again, the key is practice. It won’t happen overnight, but it need not take years. Begin today. You will find it to be one of the most powerful tools for your happiness and the happiness of those around you.
You Are The Judge. . . What’s The Verdict?
Spread Some Joy Today–Think of someone you dislike a lot and find something to praise about them. Maybe they have nice shoelaces. . .