As I awoke with my eyes still closed early this morning, I asked myself a question. I asked, “what am I really thankful for in my life?”
My first answer came very quickly. I said, “to be me, in this life, learning, and all in all, to experience all of it–the learning; the expansion; the sensory acknowledgement, and I am especially grateful for living to the point that I have come to understand myself as the creator of what I experience.”
Well, it was very close to that, but I’ve had some breakfast and coffee to think it through just a bit more. . .
In all my past, the answer would have been quite different. I would have been thankful for things, for certain people and having a relationship with them. There would have been some obligatory mentions, and sound bites that increased its sounding wise over time. Nonetheless, they would have all been outside of myself.
In all my past, I’ve not been especially thankful for me, and I’ve come to know for sure and for certain, that this was a habitually repeated mistake.
After all, what matters more than my experience of my life? There would be no one or no thing to be grateful for without my experiencing this life.
As I am inside my body looking out, I see things, circumstances, opportunities, and people that I am thankful for, and I have learned to consider and express that more and more, and yet have so rarely thought of expressing my gratitude for the opportunity to be me, to live this life that is me, to share this life that is me, to simply and exquisitely be me.
It is not ego. Ego is always trying to be better than, worse than someone or something else. This isn’t the ego talking. It is awareness.
When someone asks the question, “what do you value?” Would you be first on the list? Or might you think that egotistical? Yet, to not consider ourselves in this value list, gratitude list, and even at the top of it before anything else, I think diminishes that value and thankfulness.
I’ve written about loving myself, having unconditional love for ourselves, to accept being perfect in our imperfection, to allow our uniqueness to be pure, and that love begins with appreciation of ourselves. From this place, any love we feel for and share with others, any appreciation we have for things, events outside of us is exponentially expanded.
It seems from my life passed that I’ve more often been down on myself in many ways, from being not enough of this, too much of that, insecure about all manner of things, not understanding and appreciating the value of the ego, but instead being at war with it. I was very much into manipulation, of my inner talk, and my outer actions. My intent might be one thing while the result another.
Now, I am enamored in that I have lived to the point that I understand that I am in control–that I am the creator of my own life–and even more important, I am the experiencer of my life. I am not negating one bit the Creator who created this that I call me. In fact, I am even more in awe of that gift as I accept and appreciate that which is me, and also recognize the ongoing and grander awareness of that connection still in force, and having never left me for a moment in time.
From This Place, I Am More In Touch With What It Means To Be Thankful.
Spread Some Joy Today–by fully accepting yourself as the pure delight that God created.