“Disappointment is a sort of bankrupty–the bankruptcy
of a soul that expends too much in hope and expectation.”
— Eric Hoffer
“Expectation is the root of all heartache.”
— William Shakespeare
Doing with an expectation, even one that is a hope is setting ourselves up for disappointment. Sometimes we give and do for others and may find that at the end of the day, they don’t really appreciate or have even a good idea of how much benefit we may have provided.
Often we might even forsake our own direct benefit in order to benefit the greater good or the whole. Then we find that where we may have hoped or even expected that they would be appreciative in kind words and sometimes in monetary form, and they do not, we may become disappointed, disillusioned, and angry or worse.
It’s our own fault. If we are disappointed, it is our own fault. If we fail to get what we think they should have given us, it is our own fault. It is not about justice. It is not about fairness. It is about attitude. It is the attitude of expectation that creates these negative emotions.
As a pilot, I love the word attitude because I look at that word so differently and more appropriately than I would have otherwise. In flying an airplane, your plane’s attitude is relative to the horizon. In other words it is the plane’s relation to the world that is important. It is not the world to the plane.
With disappointment, it is our attitude or our relation to our world, or the picture that we see of our world. It is not the other way around. In other words, the picture we see dictates the response we have and it isn’t the world or the others that dictate the response. It is uniquely our own point of view, or attitude, or response to what is.
It’s really easy to change from disappointment to appreciation by changing our view of the world or the situation. Otherwise we will be like John Mayer’s song says, “waiting on the world to change.” That might take a while–maybe even your lifetime!
A great way to start is to release (key word) all expectation of other people and what they may or may not do or say or how they might relate to what you do or do not do. With no expectation, the heat is off.
Besides, a better way to give of yourself is in love with no expectation of return.
Others Do Not Control Our Happiness. We Do.
Spread Some Joy Today–by giving what you want to give and doing it with love.