“False friends are worse than open enemies.”
“He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away.”
— Raymond Hull
“We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others
that in the end we become disguised to ourselves.”
— Francois Duc de La Rochefoucauld
Did you ever know someone that you work with perhaps that is fairly nice to you, yet you just know in your heart that they would not hesitate to bring you down? Maybe it is even someone at church that you find has been talking you down to others. Not a good feeling, is it? Do we do any of that ourselves?
Ever find yourself talking others down to someone or a few people? Maybe it’s the stupid boss who hasn’t got a clue, or that other person who is such a thorn in your side. Or maybe you have listened to others doing this.
I have to admit, that I have been a party to all of that in the past and I’ve even been quite brutal about it with some. In recent years, I have mellowed greatly. Ask yourself this question: If they (the group or person you are talking with), are talking down this person and that person all the time, what might they be saying about you when they are talking with others? I’ll never forget as a sales manager at a dealership, I called the service writers office on the intercom (remember those?) and he answered a question that thought that I clicked off. Then the service manager came into the room with the service writer and just went on and on about what an idiot I was and said it out in no uncertain terms. I got an earful about me.
Another thing that has really stuck with me is a quote from Abraham Lincoln: “I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better.” I have found this quote to be so helpful to me. It has really opened my eyes and my heart to learn to love some previously challenging people. You know what? I found they were just wonderful people. You know what else? I find that 99% are wonderful people. All trying and doing and failing and succeeding and living and working, and having many of the same fears.
We have learned to not be ourselves–especially in a business environment. I now go away from that and do my absolute best to just be as much me as I can and that will just have to do. I have no fear of losing a job since I have confidence in my abilities and value, so that helps me be more comfortable. I also avoid as much as possible talking down about others. I want to uplift others. If someone is in charge and they are not doing what I would do, that is just another way to do it. When you judge that what they do is right or wrong, there is the biggest problem, I’ve found. It’s just another way and if you were in charge it would be done another way. It’s sort of like personalities. We each have one and no two are alike.
Let’s all let our love out rather than keep it hidden. This alone will change the world–especially your world.
I’m Building Up Myself And Others At The Same Time. We Can All Be Larger And More Loving.
Spread Some Joy Today–When someone starts talking others down, try changing the subject or saying something different. If that doesn’t work, excuse yourself and walk quickly away. There is nothing to gain staying there except an earfull.