Category: Respect

We Just Make It Up As We Go

“The Ego:

Edging God Out.” 
 
— Wayne Dyer
 

I was thinking that all of the problems in the world begin with one person disagreeing with another, then it can escalate to a group of people disagreeing with another group of people. All of that would be fine. Disagreement isn't a bad thing, It is, in fact, a good thing. Where it goes sour is when we believe that our reality is the only reality that is real and their reality is false and fake. And, then it gets messy when we try to enforce that edict on them, creating thousands of skirmishes large and small all over the globe. It's just one person's reality versus another person's reality. Both are each a choice in defining reality. Both are valid. We can agree to disagree. That is allowing.

The Ultimate Choice Is Love Or Fear. The Ultimate Reality Is Love And Love. 

Spread Some Joy Today–by being more allowing of other people's points of view–their reality. Allow them to choose for themselves in the same way that we feel we have the right to our own reality, our own NOG, our own NAI. Peace is often thought of as harmony or complete agreement. That is not possible. Peace is really only a lack of resistance. It is letting go of the rope. It is allowing. It is love. It is joy.

The Silliest Two-Word Phrase I Know

“Wars begin where you will
but they do not end where you please.” 

— Machiavelli

The phrase “war crimes” is a silly phrase and a completely crazy idea. There is no such thing to me as war crimes. War IS the crime.

Spread Some Joy Today. Make love your compass.

Seeking Harmony In All Things

“Three Rules of Work:
 
Out of clutter find simplicity. 
From discord find harmony. 
In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” 
 
— Albert Einstein 
 

[Classic post from 7-29-16]

These three rules could just as easily be about any aspect of life, whether it be our life at home, with our family, our friends, where we work every day, in any relationship, in any group we happen to be a part of, and even within our own minds as we consider our own inner dialog, and our thoughts about ourselves, and that world that is outside of ourselves.

Out of clutter find simplicity. It seems to be human nature to complicate rather than simplify, but once we realize what we are doing, we can choose to clarify, and in so doing find the simplicity. Everything is simpler than we make it, and when we can simplify things, clutter doesn’t have much of a chance. Neither does the drama.

From discord find harmony. It doesn’t matter what kind of relationship it might be, whether intimate or global, discord is easily achieved, but in all cases, it is harmony that is the holy grail. It doesn’t even need to apply only to relationships with people, but is perfectly appropriate in our relationship to things, to nature, to our world, our environment. Having harmony as our fundamental goal puts discord in its place by having it only be a reminder that harmony is our real objective.

In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity. As with the idea of clutter, and the idea of discord, the idea of difficulty is best thought of as a reminder to look not at the thing that is vying for our attention; the clutter, discord, and difficulty, or we could look at that also as ‘what-is,’ or the ‘problem,’ but to look toward the solution which is not this. The solution is found in simplicity. The solution is found in harmony. The solution is found in seeing opportunity.

What a great message to write down and give it some of our energy. Another great sign for my wall, except I, will change it to the Three Rules of Life.

Simplicity. Harmony. Opportunity. Love. Peace. Joy. 

Spread Some Joy Today–because it’s Friday. Any excuse is a good one.

Simple Acts Of Kindness Have A Ripple Effect

“I've always believed 
 that brick walls 
are only for people 
 who don't care very much.” 
 
— Wayne W. Dyer 
 

[Classic post from 7-25-16]

I was watching an old YouTube video with Wayne Dyer on the Ellen Show, where he was talking about small acts of kindness and how far-reaching they can become. In this case, he was talking about his desire to get into Wayne University after being turned down flat because of his poor high school record. He said, “I kept running into this brick wall. I've always believed that brick walls were only for people who don't care very much. But, I wanted this badly.” He persisted, found someone at the college who would listen to him, and this person went to bat for Wayne and eventually got him in on a provisional basis.

After Wayne got his Ph.D. and became a professor teaching college-level courses, it amazed him how that small act of kindness changed his entire life. Over 40 years later, he gave a one million dollar endowment to Wayne University to help fund a college education for those who have the drive, but may not have the money, and hundreds of young people were awarded the opportunity to attend college as a result. So one act turned into hundreds, and that is just one example.

One never knows what will come of one simple act of kindness. 
 

That's one part of the story, and certainly a powerful one, and the other part of this story is his strong determination to achieve what he decided he wanted–to get what he wanted–regardless of the obstacles.

How many times have we wanted something, or wanted something to be a certain way, and have found brick walls in front of us that are so long and so high that they seem impenetrable. But brick walls or any other kind of wall or obstacle is no match to the determined will. The power of decision is a very powerful thing. Imagining it the way you want it is a very powerful tool. Believing that you are unstoppable will pierce the strongest of walls. Benjamin Disraeli said, “Nothing can resist the human will that will stake even its existence on its stated purpose.” 

I don't know about you, but I have never had to get to that unstoppable place or stake my very existence on getting what I want for them to come true. Fortunately, those ideas can be saved for the completely impossible dreams. The good news is that a strong desire and a belief in the achievement of the desire are generally more than sufficient to get the job done. Everything that I have ever truly wanted has come to pass. Those things that didn't come to pass are stuck on the brick wall because I just didn't care enough.

Where There's A Will There's A Way. Actually, All Kinds Of Ways… 

Spread Some Joy Today–by believing that joy is in your present. It may be hiding under the anger rug or boredom furniture, but it is there ready to reveal itself when you are.

Allowing Others To Be As They Choose

“There are times 
when friends can prod or tease you 
into a better-feeling thought, 
but at other times 
their prodding or teasing 
just makes you feel worse.” 
 
— Abraham, Esther Hicks 
 

[Classic post from 7-23-16]

They continue, “Any success they may have had in helping you feel better has been, for the most part, about how far out of alignment you already were, because while it is easy to make small vibrational jumps, it is difficult, or even impossible, to make large ones.”

The reason I am offering the quote above is that it says so much about how we are in relationships. The closer the relationship, the more we seem to want to help someone out of the doldrums. I have learned better. And much of that I have learned from Abraham, Esther Hicks, and Wayne Dyer.

As they said, “but at other times their prodding or teasing just makes you feel worse.” I can't tell you how many times I have tried to cheer someone up and end up pissing them off instead. It's too big of a leap from powerlessness to happiness. It's even too big a leap from powerlessness to disappointment. It may even be too large a gap between disappointment and happiness.

What I have learned after much turmoil in trying to help another to feel better, is to just love them by sending loving thoughts, saying very little if anything. Now I don't try to change them or what they are thinking. I respect where they are by allowing them to feel as they are choosing to feel by giving them space and time.

What can I do to help? I can be an example of well-being. Not in their face with it, but consistently being in alignment myself is the best I can offer anyone else. It's like in the airplane drill: you put on your mask (you get into alignment), then help others. It is our own example of well-being that is the best we can offer anyone.

Someone is upset, angry, disgusted, tormented, sad, and the best that I can do is to allow them to be as they are, as they choose for themselves, while simply loving them. That is essentially Wayne Dyer's most beautiful definition of unconditional love, which is, “allowing others to be as they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy me.” I learn to allow others to be as they choose–whomever they may be, whether close to me in a personal relationship, or in the world news. 

Allowing Others To Be As They Choose For Themselves Is Compassion And Love. 

Spread Some Joy Today–by enjoying your own connection with Source Energy, which is God, which is Love, which is Joy.

Making A Difference Week. Day 3 of 7

Making A Difference Week
 
 
“The world is moved along,
not only by the 
mighty shoves of its heroes,
but also by the aggregate of tiny pushes
of each honest worker.”
 
— Helen Keller
 
 
[Classic post from 12-6-11]
 
Volunteers are the salt of the earth I think. There is so much in this world that would not be done if it were not for the unpaid efforts of millions of volunteers.
 
I have been a volunteer in many cases. In one case my volunteer efforts consumed approximately 30 hours per week for 9 years, while I worked a full-time job besides. That’s about 14,000 hours. Zero dollars, but amply rewarded.
 
Some might say, how can I get experience? and I will say that one way is to find a way to volunteer your services and get the practice that causes experience. If we always look to be paid for what we can do, we are somewhat limited.
 
There are so many places and ways to volunteer. You won’t have to look far to find them and if you just engage with people, I think they will find you soon enough. I recommend being very choosy. Do what you love, for in so doing you will be more of a help to others and have a good time doing it.
 
Today, I continue to do volunteer work in many ways and hours in different ways, and I highly recommend it. Part of it is helping others and that is great, but I think that the majority of it is helping ourselves, and I think that is grand. There is nothing better than to be selfish in this way because we are serving ourselves in a fulfilling way and at the same time serving others in a helpful way.
 
 
 
“In Giving You Are Throwing A Bridge Across The Chasm Of Your Solitude.” — Antoine de Saint-Exupery
 
 
Spread Some Joy Today–People know you care, but still like to hear it now and then. One good way I learned is to say this: “Have I told you that I love you lately?”

Making A Difference Week. Day 1 of 7

Making A Difference Week
 

“I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life
with a catcher’s mitt on both hands.
You need to be able to throw something back.”

 
— Maya Angelou
 
 
 
[Classic post from 12-4-11]
 
Giving is such a complicated thing sometimes. This is the Christmas season and it is traditionally a time of giving gifts to family and friends. Then, this time of year the Salvation Army red kettles are out in force, along with lots of sign-holding people in the major driveways. There’s the big organizations, the churches, homeless shelters. There is no shortage of the needy. In fact, there never has been.
 
Each of those are the tangible aspects of giving and usually involves money, and it seems that they are all competing for the dollar during this spending time. I think giving in these ways is a good thing.
 
I think of how we can give back, or rather share ourselves, our abundance, throughout the year, week in and week out as a habitual part of our lives. We can volunteer. There will always be plenty of openings for volunteers. We can share our resources, or our abundance with others regularly. As good as all these are, they are things.
 
Here’s another way we can give regularly that is more than meaningful–it is life itself. Mother Teresa said it well: “There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread, but there are more dying for a little love.”
 
Thinking about giving back from the life that was given by our Creator, however, we perceive this, I can think of only one single way that fits into every religion and is also the one way that makes any sense. What can we give to the Lord (World, Universe, Buddha, God, etc.) today or any day? We can give the Lord (World, Universe, Buddha, God, etc.) away. And the way we do that so that it is meaningful is by giving love.
 
The best that we can do as Christians is to love one another. The best we can do as Buddhists is to love one another. The best we can do as Muslims is to love one another. The best we can do for God is to love one another. The best we can do for ourselves is to love one another.
 
 
Just Imagine This Kind Of World Where Everyone Loves Each Other. It Must Start With Me.
 
Spread Some Joy Today–Want joy? Become a lover of people and all that is happening in your life. Wanting more is great from a place of loving where you are, what you are doing, and who you are.

Being Picky About How I Want To Feel

“You’re picky about the car you drive. 
You’re picky about what you wear. 
You’re picky about what you put in your mouth. 
We want you to be pickier 
about what you think.” 
 
— Abraham, Esther Hicks 
 

[Classic post from 4-29-16]

Yesterday, I was floating on air, joyous, grateful for all I saw, and although I have become generally a very happy man, I was at another level yesterday and enjoying every single second of it. I greeted people I was walking by, complimented others, silently appreciated many, and was, as Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “drinking the wild air.”

I met briefly with a friend for coffee and enjoying the time spent with him. Then somehow the conversation turned to a personal experience of old people, especially relatives, like parents in their 80’s and early 90’s. The tone changed dramatically as he began talking about dementia, crazy behavior, end of life issues.

In conversations, we normally exchange anecdotes on whatever subject we are on, and it seems to be human nature to chime in. I mentioned a very short bit about an experience with my late wife, Nancy. As it came out of my mouth, I realized that I was encouraging this theme to continue. As he came up with another situation, I felt my happy feeling was waning quickly. I immediately stopped him and said that we have to talk about happier things. He said something about it can’t be helped because so many people I know are old or dying. I changed the subject, and shortly after we left and went back to our tasks for the day.

When we pay attention to how we are feeling, as when I was feeling oh so good, totally enjoying the moment, to then feeling tension and sadness about all of these old people and all the problems surrounding that, we can take charge of what we pay attention to and stay on the happy trail instead of going down the unhappy trail. It is so common to get into a conversation, end up going down the unhappy trail, further and further down, until everyone in the conversation is unhappy.

Taking responsibility for how we feel is so empowering. I want to feel good. I was feeling good. I refuse to feel bad, so I am changing the conversation. If I can’t change the conversation, I am finding a way to get up and leave. We do not need to go down that unhappy trail, and certainly not very dang far. It is purely a choice. Awareness of how we feel enlightens us to what is happening so that we can choose on purpose to feel good or to not feel good, to stay on the happy trail.

Just because others, regardless of how close they may be in proximity or relationship, are experiencing something, doesn’t mean that we need to experience it with them.

Just because others want to talk about everything in the world that is wrong, doesn’t mean that we need to join them. Each of us is able to make a choice that is best for us. We choose what we will focus on. We choose then, how we will feel.

Sometimes people say to me, “well, you just can’t feel good all the time.” I say, “I’m giving it my best shot!” I think I can feel good all the time; albeit, there are many, many different levels of feeling good. There’s good, great, happy, joyous, ecstatic, passionate, excited, encouraged, loved, loving, appreciative, in awe, nice, fun, funny, delicious, delightful, delighted, marvelous, breathtaking, remarkable, bewildering, fabulous, astounding, incredible, phenomenal, staggering, striking, alluring, refreshing, captivating, fascinating, rapturous, ravishing, yummy, darling, thrilling, adorable, extravagant, luscious, luxurious, and opulent, just to name a few.

Want To Feel Good? Choose That. Great Choice! 

Spread Some Joy Today–everywhere you go today. You have to have it to share it, so enjoy it within yourself. Roll around in it. Pour it over your head and body. Sprinkle it all around you as you move around today. Share that joy! Be that joy!

Your Opinion Counts?

“I respect your opinion 
of my work.” 
 
— Scott Ginsberg 
 

[Classic post from 6-8-16]

There it is. It has been on the deposit receipt for years, and this morning as three of these are on the top of my desk waiting to be filed, I see it: “Your opinion counts.” Below that, in a much smaller type is a request to give the bank feedback in an online survey. So, my mind sort of took off with that bit of dribble. . .

“Hello, I registered my opinion online, but I don’t see the results of it anywhere. Can you direct me so that I can actually see that my opinion matters and that, as you say, “my opinion counts”? After all, I took the time to give it to you, and the least you can do is to show me how it counts, don’t you think?”

On the other end, I hear what sounds like a recorded voice saying, “I’m sorry, sir, but your opinion has expired. We appreciated your opinion, but it is no longer valid. The time has run out. Please feel free to share your opinion with us again, because, as we always say, your opinion counts.”

What? My opinion has expired? My opinion timed out? My opinion is no longer valid? What’s up with that?

So, you can see how my mind works sometimes. It just goes off and has a bit of fun here and there, and I get to go along for the ride. Then, it hit me! What an interesting concept: Opinions that expire, time out, and are no longer valid. How interesting is that to contemplate. Well, maybe just for me. . . 

Go with me for just a little longer if you’ve got nothing else to do. Besides, it’s Wednesday. Hump day. It’s downhill to the weekend, and it’s in our sight. . .

You have an opinion. You share it with someone in some sort of way. They accept it. The opinion has landed. Perhaps, you are volleying with another, who gives you their opinion. You take it. Hmmm. You consider it. There it is. Which causes you to share another opinion about their opinion. After all, there are the finer points to be considered. Back and forth. Back and forth the opinions go. Served and returned.

Then the other says, “I’m sorry, but your previous opinion has expired and is no longer valid.” And you go, “what do you mean? My opinion can’t expire. It’s been served and I thought it was a very good opinion. How can it no longer be valid, unless I take it back? You have no authority to invalidate my opinion! Only I have the authority to invalidate my opinion. Just as you can only invalidate your opinion. What would you think if I arbitrarily invalidated your opinion? You’d be pissed, to say the least. Now take it back. Take back your arbitrary invalidation of my opinion!”

I’ve had this quote by Scott Ginsberg above on my desk for a few weeks, “I respect your opinion of my work.” The context that he gave this was around the idea of people being critical of us and this was a grand response. It works well. But, I think it says so much more in a broader sense. Let’s use it this way: I respect your opinion. I mean, after all, we all have them–even millions of them. And, it seems to be a given to respect our own opinion. We serve, and then we serve and then we serve and, well, it’s out there. But, many times, we kind of let the opinions of others expire. We may even invalidate them. Dis them. But, if we mean to have anyone else respect our opinion, it is only fair and honorable that we respect theirs. It is a loving thing to do.

Your Opinion Counts. I Respect Your Opinion. 

Spread Some Joy Today–by allowing others to have their say while allowing yourself to have yours. There is joy in there somewhere, and it is worth sharing.

In Joying Today, Right Now

“Nothing is worth more than this day.” 
 
— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe 
 

[Classic post from 5-13-16]

Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. Not plans. Not regrets. Nothing is worth more than this day. This day is all there is. Where we are living with this attitude toward time, we are living in the present. The present is all there is. The past and the future are merely illusions, fantasies, memories, projections. Now–the present is all there is, so if you're alive, then nothing–no thing–is worth more than this day.

I Hope And Pray That You Enjoy It To Its Fullest. 

Spread Some Joy Today–by being here. Now.

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