Category: Patience

Patience Is Just Plain Fun!

“The greatest power 
is often simple patience.”

— E. Joseph Cossman

 
[Classic post from 3-23-14]
 
My Life Lessons 

This is a series of revelations about my life that I am sharing with others for what it may be worth. These come from a lifetime of study and experience of others and myself, and I now translate them to words. These will be numbered; however, they are not in order of importance as all are equally important. It is just a way for me to keep track of them in this series. I hope you find value in them.

Life Lesson #14

Patience is not only a virtue, it’s just plain fun.

I have learned to be a patient man, and I have learned it from people and circumstances that challenged me to make that choice. Well, I accepted the challenges with eagerness because I made a decision that I wanted to learn to be a patient man.

Some people think that having patience is enduring something, which sounds like that stiff-upper-lip thing in England. Patience in the Bible is often spoken in the same manner. To me that is more like tolerance, meaning you are putting up with it though you do not want to. Maybe you can’t even wait to get out of the situation to get back into the world of fast-moving impatience.

I borrowed a bit of a quote from Wayne Dyer and created my own about this subject. Here it is: “Patience isn’t tolerating or putting up with. It is allowing things, situations, or people to be as they are without any insistence that they be anything else.” I think that says it nicely.

To me, patience is also calmness. I remember several years ago when I first read a quote by James Allen, and as soon as I read it, the whole thing resonated with me and I wanted to become that person. Here’s the quote: “The more tranquil a man becomes, the greater is his success, his influence, his power for good. Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom.” Isn’t that a wonderful image? I love it.

All of these are great. Each is well-spoken and describes the idea of patience nicely. From the time I was a child, I had always heard the quote, “patience is a virtue.” I never really knew what it meant, and putting it into practice was torture. Later in my life, after finally making a decision that I wanted to become a patient man, I found that practice was what helped me get it going, and after a time, I began to have fun with it, and now I look forward to opportunities where I can practice it.

But, before I could really practice it, I had to get rid of the idea of tolerance, endurance, holding my breath, and other ideas of patience. What I found was that it was more real when I would unplug from the situation, suspend all judgment, and the keyword was to relax.

So, I went back to my vision of the tug-o-war and my struggle to pull the rope was my impatience with the situation or the person, and patience was more obvious to me as in letting go of the rope. I began to practice as if I were standing outside just watching the situation with no real interest other than to just enjoy it. That worked extremely well.

By stepping back, letting go of the rope, and just observing brought me joy. I was really having fun and smiling the whole time. Others around me might be complaining, demonstrating their impatience, and so on, and here I was in the same situation, having joy. Who knew? It’s hard to say how much of a difference it has made in my recent life, but it is tremendous.

“Circumstance Does Not Make The Man; It Reveals Him To Himself.” — James Allen 

Spread Some Joy Today–Let go of the rope. Relax. Breathe deeply. Experience joy.

Life Lesson #7: Forgiveness

“It’s not just other people we need to forgive.
We also need to forgive ourselves.
For all the things we didn’t do.
All the things we should have done.”

— Mitch Albom

[Classic post from 3-16-14]

My Life Lessons

This is a series of revelations about my life that I am sharing with others for what it may be worth. These come from a lifetime of study and experience of others and myself, and I now translate them into words. These will be numbered; however, they are not in order of importance as all are equally important. It is just a way for me to keep track of them in this series. I hope you find value in them.

Life Lesson #7

Forgiveness is sublime, and it is not for others, but ourselves.

I might add to Mitch Albom’s quote above, all the things we did, and all the things we shouldn’t have done. It’s great to forgive ourselves for things we should have done but didn’t do, yet is taken to a whole new level when we forgive ourselves for things we have actually done, yet have always regretted by feeling we shouldn’t have done them.

I think that if we are human, we err. If we are acting on impulse, eventually we will act in a way that in a time of more clarity, we would have made another choice. Maybe someone else was affected in the process, and that can add to the burden that we continually add to ourselves over time for these errors in judgment and/or action.

Probably of all the things that I have learned to help me through life, the action of forgiveness of myself is high on the list of importance to me, and I have also been very successful in changing the way I have viewed past so-called errors or mistakes.

The thing that has helped me the most has been to put into a picture in my head what forgiving is. To me, regret and self-judgment is exactly like a game of tug-o-war where I am pulling with all my might against a foe or foes on the other side of the pit. It seems that the harder I pulled, the harder it was held firm. I could never seem to move the opponent enough to matter. The reason is that the opponent was me and is of equal strength. Essentially, I was fighting myself without any success.

The change in me came when I realized that all I needed to do was let go of the rope. At first, I thought that was quitting, and in a short time, I realized that it was a success instead. As soon as I let go, the opponent didn’t fall down, but disappeared entirely, along with the rope and the pit.

Now I use this strategy purposefully in many ways in my life, and mainly to forgive myself for those things I should have done, shouldn’t have done, failed to do, and did. Once I get some time as perspective, I often see that these things weren’t mistakes at all, but an essential part of my journey.

Forgiving others is a piece of cake to me. I just let go of the rope. As long as I am not forgiving them, I am at war with myself, and that war is no fun, and I find pain at every turn and negative thoughts that run in a circle over and over again. So, I’ve learned to just let go of the rope in my mind and the act of forgiveness has been achieved. I have released the issue, and I have at the same time, released myself from the self-imposed burden.

Forgiving myself was not a piece of cake to me, but as I learned to let go of the rope and practiced it, felt it, I began forgiving myself more and more. Now it is easier. Sometimes one of those issues comes back from an old memory tape, and it is easier still because I have dealt with it before and know what to do.

I have often found that letting go is the most powerful thing I can do.

“Sometimes You Don’t Realize Your Own Strength Until You Come Face To Face With Your Greatest Weakness.” — Susan Gale

Beautiful Jewels Of Wisdom

“Calmness of mind
is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom.”

– James Allen

 

He claims that “Self-control is strength. Right thought is mastery. Calmness is power.” I love how that all comes together with ‘calmness is power.’ It is our accumulated wisdom that creates this calmness.

Of course, some may rather grow in their accumulated prejudice, but I think that moving toward the upper ages allows most of us to see how blessed our lives have been including all of the things we used to struggle with. Now we can see how that struggle was self-inflicted and temporary pain, and that these instances were also steppingstones to an improved position. There are so many ways and paths to the same end result.

As I age and make use of that golden ticket called reflection, I can see how everything worked out, often in spite of my efforts to thwart it. And, in the process of each, I accumulated bits of wisdom, now accumulated to a substantial and delightful amount, both in quantity and quality. This is what I love about being older. I love that I can see more clearly now.

Squeaky Shoe Solution

I bought some sneakers that felt good on my feet and I liked them quite a bit. Then they started squeaking with every step. I thought they had gone bad or something and I was not happy about it, so I threw them on a shelf in my closet. Then two years later, I tried them again. They felt great but they squeaked as bad as ever. I have an issue with one foot and need to have Superfeet insoles, so I pulled out the insert, and everything looked good. Then I thought, maybe some lubricant would help. silicone spray is kind of messy, so I thought, maybe talcum powder would work. So I put some between the insert and the insole. Squeak gone. Then I wore them every day for a week and still no squeak. I’m a happy camper again. Then I remembered that another favorite almost worn-out pair had a squeak on one shoe. I did the talc thing again, and guess what? Squeak gone! 

Don’t you love it when you solve problems? Even ones on the shelf for two or three years!

We Are All Teachers. We Are All Students.

We are all teachers and we are all students. We learn from each other and we teach each other. There are no coincidences. Every interaction from whatever distance has been drawn to us in our vibration, our frequency, our consciousness.

When you have an encounter with anyone whether they are a friend or stranger, a great question to ask ourselves every time is, “what have I learned here?” Or, “what is this person, this encounter teaching me?”

When we are open to ask, the answer will become clear. There is always something to learn or teach in every human encounter. Nothing is random. The answer to your questions will make that clear.

There are many things that can cloud this learning experience. It might be sorrow, sympathy, our own ego, and many more; however, in the asking of the questions about what we’ve learned or what we may have taught, we are able to see beyond that cloud cover and get to the heart of the matter.

Act Great!

What is the key
To untie the knot of your mind’s suffering?

What
Is the esoteric secret
To slay the crazed one whom each of us
Did wed

And who can ruin
Our heart’s and eye’s exquisite tender
Landscape?

Hafiz has found
Two emerald words that
Restored
Me

That I now cling to as I would sacred
Tresses of my Beloved’s
Hair:

Act great.
My dear, always act great.

What is the key
To untie the know of the mind’s suffering?

Benevolent thought, sound
And movement.

— Hafiz

I Have Learned So Much

I
Have
Learned
So much from God
That I can no longer
Call
Myself

A Christian, a Hindu, a Muslim,
A Buddhist, a Jew.

The Truth has shared so much of itself
With me

That I can no longer call myself
A man, a woman, an angel,
or even pure
Soul.

Love has
Befriended Hafiz so completely
It has turned to ash
And freed
Me

Of every concept and image
My mind has ever known.

— Hafiz

Awareness + Adversity = Breakthrough

“A man who is a master of patience
is master of everything.”

— George Savile

[Classic post from 9-9-12]

Consider this equation that popped into my head today: Awareness + Adversity = Breakthrough.

I’ve talked several times of late about my desire to and practice in becoming a much more patient person. It is working so well that I get these ‘ah-ha’ moments realizing that I am actually exercising considerable, if not extreme patience in a normally stressful or irritating situation. Tonight there were more than one and it is so interesting to become aware that I am aware of seeing myself being more and more patient.

It also struck me tonight that adversity plays a major role in the process. Without adversity, there would be no need to learn, nothing to change, overcome, or make peace with. So, based on that, once we become aware, we may feel the desire to change or to feel better. Then we will be making changes in our thought process to respond to the adversity rather than to react to it. Without awareness, we would just keep repeating the same old reactionary patterns from the past, or as Einstein said how we think the same thoughts and hope for things to change which was his definition of insanity.

Consequently, I began to actually get excited about the idea of adversity being in the mix and playing a part in my growth to the point of having gratitude for it being there. Again, without the adverse situation, it would not be possible to change, nor would there be a need to.

A breakthrough, of course, is that “ah-ha” moment. It is the realization that we have come through and are actually doing that which we hoped to achieve, which is to purposely and consciously be patient with life as it unfolds which can be the most natural response.

So, to put it together, as I become more aware and meet adverse or irritating situations or things, I have the opportunity to practice my patience, and in so doing achieve breakthroughs that strengthen, encourage, and excite me to continue to grow into more patience. Because I really do believe that he who is a master of patience is a master of everything else.

Bring It! I’m Eager For The Practice! And, So Enjoying The Change.

Spread Some Joy Today–What upsets you? How can you soothe that?

Learning About Impatience

“Impatience is not a time issue
or a mark of selfishness.
It is a trust issue
and a statement of fear.”

— Alan Cohen

[Classic post from 9-16-12]

I downloaded a book on my Kindle a few weeks back and I got about 15% into it, and tonight I opened it back up and started reading more. The book title is Enough Already: The Power of Radical Contentment by Alan Cohen. So, as I’m back reading, he is talking about having patience and how many people he knows and coaches are type ‘A’ people who are always having to ‘do’ something, and stopping for a bit of peace is not on the agenda–in fact, it isn’t even on their radar.

That reading caused me to remember a meeting I had a couple of days ago with two men. One was very easy going and enthusiastic and quite interested. He was engaged and asked questions, and really wanted to understand the whole picture as much as he could in a relatively short meeting. The other gentleman was obvious in his impatience. He wanted different answers. In fact, I believe he just wanted a miracle to appear right in the room, and then he wouldn’t have to deal with it. Yet, he persevered in allowing the other gentleman to ask questions and receive answers.

At the end of the meeting, the curious one asked yet another question and then started into a story. As we were standing and I was listening, I couldn’t help but notice the other gentleman was looking more aggravated than impatient, so I suggested we move out of the office and end the meeting. We did.

And then, tonight, I read the quote above as part of the text in the book and I was amazed how powerfully it is stated and how true it seems to be. Impatience is not normally stated as fear, but, of course, that is exactly what it is. Yet it is even more in that the one who is impatient is not present. They are somewhere else. They are way ahead and the rest of us are holding up the way just like an impatient driver following on your tail. Indeed, they want to be somewhere else, get different answers, and more. It is resistance and not conducive to success.

Alan says in the book that “Things happen when they are ripe–not before or after. If you try to force something before it is ready, it won’t work.” So true. We still think otherwise as is often taught in that we have to ‘make things happen.’ A better route is to allow things to happen, and this requires patience.

He also quoted a Bible verse from James 1:4, which says, “And let patience have its perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, lacking in nothing.”

I am amazed in the last few months of the volume and depth of things I am learning about patience and in so doing, applying them in my business and my life and amazed again at how successful that application really is.

“Patience Is Natural To Those Who Trust”
— A Course in Miracles

Spread Some Joy Today–Find your patience. It is only for you to control.

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