Category: Love

Love Has No Fear

“Pure love and suspicion
cannot dwell together;
at the door where the latter enters,
the former makes its exit.” 

— Alexander Dumas 

[Classic post from 2-10-17]

Love and fear cannot co-mingle, as they are faced in opposite directions, and yet in our daily experience, we see this attempt so often. But, that is only because it is not pure love. It is instead something that the ego created to cause us to feel good when things are going as we want, and to feel fear when they are not. This is a serialized version of the ego's primary function of immediate reaction in the fight or flight response.

She says, “I love him, but I fear that he is cheating on me.” She says, “I love him, and yet I can never really trust a man who stays late at work so often.” He or she says, “that same thing happened in my family and I can see that it is happening now to me.” He says, “I love my job, but I hate my boss.” She says, “I hate my job, but I need the money.” He says, “Jesus taught us to love our enemies, but that was easy for Him, but I live in the nuclear age.” And, well, this list is as long as forever and is so common that we have come to expect love and fear to be perfect partners. That could only be as we do not understand what love is.

Love is this: We love or we do not. Love does not allow loving this and hating that. Where there is love, there is no possibility of hate or fear. It is pure peace, pure acceptance, pure joy. Or it is not, but it is not love and fear.

Once we recognize love, pure love, unconditional love–you know, the love of God for us, we find that to stray from it is completely numbing ourselves to joy.

Fear says, “Protect. Protect. Protect. Defend. Defend. Defend.” And, love says, “Accept. Appreciate. Release. Freedom! Peace! Joy! This is why there can be no suspicion and love in the same place. There is love or there is suspicion, but there can never be both at the same time.

Of course in love, there would be no movies and novels because there would be no antagonists. There would be no news as we think of news now because there would be nothing to fear, and nothing to predict or analyze. So, we so often live with the alternative fact that we love others and can fear them at the same time.

Pure Love Is All There Really Is. Anything Else Is Simply Turning Away. 

Spread Some Joy Today–by opening yourself to the pure joy of pure love and allowing the world and all others who live within it to do as they choose for themselves.

Discovering Our Invulnerability

It takes courage and feeling safe to allow our innermost emotions and thoughts to be exposed to anyone, even–and maybe especially so–our closest companion. I think the way through is called surrender. Eckhart spells this out here:

“In surrender, you no longer need ego defenses and false masks. You become very simple, very real. “That’s dangerous,” says the ego. “You’ll get hurt. You’ll become vulnerable.” What the ego doesn’t know, of course, is that only through the letting go of resistance, through becoming “vulnerable,” can you discover your true and essential invulnerability.” 

He brings it all together with this quote: “Fulfill me, make me happy, make me feel safe, tell me who I am. The world cannot give you those things, and when you no longer have such expectations, all self-created suffering comes to an end.” I might also add that our spouse cannot give these and neither can we. We can only give them to ourselves–or allow that in ourselves.

Expressing our wants, our needs, our inner thoughts, and feelings is the deepest sharing that we ever do. To trust in ourselves enough to risk rejection is one of our greatest strengths. Surrender, of course, comes from trust. Without trust, there is no surrender.

I think we need to be our truest self to have the most intimate and fulfilling relationship with another human being because we then share that instead of all the ego-laced protections. And, in the process of releasing all judgments, we find a bliss that is rare and beautiful.

Choosing Awe

“Life gets awesome
when you make up your mind
to perceive it as awesome.” 

— Karen Salmansohn

[Classic post from 9-9-16]

This valuable lesson is about choice, and a choice is a multidimensional thing to me. There is, what we might call in current medical terminology, the ‘pre-choice’ phase, then the mental testing phase, the choice itself, and the results, or the exit interview phase.

Recently, I’ve been tip-toeing back through parts of A Course in Miracles, and just the other day underlined some passages that I found fascinating. It is in the first section in a sub-section on Fear and Conflict:

“You may believe that you are responsible for what you do, but not for what you think. The truth is that you are responsible for what you think because it is only at this level that you can exercise choice. What you do comes from what you think. You cannot separate yourself from the truth by “giving” autonomy to behavior.” 

What was really interesting to me is that this morning I printed out a number of quotes that I receive every day, and it was as if they lined up perfectly with what I had in mind to share. Here’s a couple of them:

“Within the seed of your desire is everything necessary for it to blossom to fulfillment. And Law of Attraction is the engine that does the work. Your work is just to give it a fertile growing place in order to expand.” — Abraham, Esther Hicks

“The habit of being happy enables one to be freed, or largely freed, from the domination of outside conditions.” — Robert Louis Stevenson

Yesterday, I was standing in the carport outside my office looking on the courtyard, feeling the magical breeze, hearing my favorite wind chime with its soft, clear, perfectly tuned tones with all its overtones, holding little Charlie, my dog so that he could enjoy it too. I said to Charlie, “This is heaven. This is heaven on earth. Yes, Charlie, we’re in heaven right now.” Yes, it’s true. I actually did say that aloud.

Have you ever felt that way? I used to have to go on a long trip to some other place like Hawaii or something to feel like that, but now, something has changed inside me and I don’t have to go anywhere at all to feel it. It is right where I am, wherever I am, as I choose to allow that feeling within me, and my feeling comes from my thoughts, and when my thoughts feel good, I am in alignment with my greater, inner Source of All That Is.

The quote said, “You may believe that you are responsible for what you do, but not for what you think,” but it is the thinking that creates the possibility of choice and the choice will create the doing. Sometimes we want to escape where we are to go to a place we think will be so much better, only to realize that we brought ourselves with us. In other words, we bring our thinking with us, and our creations are from our thinking.

Now, I know that a change of venue can influence our thought. Tony Robbins calls that a “change of state.” It isn’t the doing that controls, but the doing can be a temporary influence, opening the door to a more permanent change in thinking. More often, of course, it is our thinking that creates our state, as in how being depressed, feeling sorry for ourselves, has our physical body in a certain state, and then merely by immediately and grandly changing that physical state of our body, we can immediately influence the thoughts. I’ve done a demonstration of that in training classes I’ve done. But just changing the state, or the location is not enough for it to last. We have to get to the real cause in the cause and effect loop: the thoughts. They are infinitely more important.

As Robert Stevenson said, “the habit of being happy enables. . .” Like Karen ‘Not Salmon’ Salmansohn says, “Life gets awesome when you make up your mind to perceive it as awesome.” It is a choice of thought, a decision, a way of seeing something that may not have otherwise been seen, as in my ‘heaven on earth’ thoughts.

We get to choose every moment of every day how we will think, and what our thoughts will be, and thereby what we will create within us and without us. As A Course in Miracles, points out, “Few appreciate the real power of the mind. . . The mind is very powerful and never loses its creative force. It never sleeps. Every instant it is creating. It is hard to recognize that thought and belief combine into a power surge that can literally move mountains. . . There are no idle thoughts. All thinking produces form at some level.” 

I’ve Made Up My Mind To Perceive It As Awesome! 

Spread Some Joy Today–How many levels of joy do you suppose there are? Hmmm. Interesting idea. Sounds like fun to try them out one by one!

Forgiveness Is Inseparable From Peace And Love

“Forgiveness never meant much to me,
until I realized, that if it was truly forgiveness,
it was inseparable from peace and love.” 

— Terry Minion 

[Classic post from 9-7-16]

Learning about true forgiveness has been a lengthy journey, and once I accepted the fullness of the idea, the main journey has been in the practice of it.

A Course in Miracles, says much about forgiveness, and here is just a little of that: “Forgiveness recognizes what you thought your brother did to you has not occurred. It does not pardon sins and make them real. It sees there was no sin. . . An unforgiving thought is one which makes a judgment that it will not raise to doubt, although it is not true. The mind is closed and will not release. . . Forgiveness, on the other hand, is still, and quietly does nothing. . . It merely looks, and waits, and judges not.” 

And here is a very enlightening aspect to add to that, also from the Course: “As you condemn only yourself, so do you forgive only yourself.” Forgiveness is not to release another, it is to release ourselves, for as we are unforgiving, we are binding ourselves to that which has not occurred to us, or by us. I have to add one more sentence from the Course: “God is the Love in which I forgive.” 

I was trying to remember where I began this journey of learning about forgiveness. I think it was in the early 1980s after I bought and read the book, Love Is Letting Go of Fear, by Gerald Jampolsky. This little book that can be read completely in less than an hour is easily in the top five books I have ever read in terms of its power in my life. I always have plenty of copies on hand in my office, and I’ve given several hundred away, planting seeds of peace, love, and forgiveness to any who are willing to open the book and read and consider for themselves.

I still struggled with my past thoughts and trying to make my way in the world so to speak. For so many years, I would learn a little more, and then I finally began earnestly practicing forgiveness, along with the idea of unconditional love.

Forgiveness is so attached to unconditional love, for in a love without conditions, there is only peace and forgiveness, and again, the idea of forgiveness is a matter of realizing that there is really only love–that there is nothing to forgive, that in this love, I am completely at peace.

To Forgive Is Like It Never Happened. 

Spread Some Joy Today–by for-giving yourself the love and joy you deserve. It was just an illusion. Smile! You’re bathed in unconditional love!

Love And Marriage

“‘Til death do you (us, we) part.” 

— an interesting phrase that is
is common in marriage ceremonies. 

[Classic post from 9-1-16]

I wonder how many marriage ceremonies I’ve seen on television and in movies. It must be several thousand. In addition, the many different types of marriage vows made were also interesting, and, of course, full of challenging expectations of each other, as well as devoid of real-life experience, claiming an imaginary duration and outcome.

I’m not being negative about marriage, even though, according to statistics, only about half survive without divorce. Frankly, having been married twice myself, I’m amazed that the divorce rate is not higher, especially if we compared that to the unreal expectations at the marriage ceremony.

It’s interesting how things just pop into my head, and when I’m awake and alert, I might even write them down. This morning, as I was considering this Daily Inspiration among several hundred other thoughts, I wrote down a marriage vow that made sense to me from my experience, and from my gained wisdom of living into my sixties. Here it is, for what it’s worth:

“I am me. I have likes and dislikes. I lean toward the likes and away from the dislikes. Where our likes intersect, we can experience a sense of oneness. Where they do not intersect, yet are similar in nature, we can be in harmony. Where they are not complimentary, we may enjoy periodic cooperation, or where they are not, we can enjoy mutual freedom and respect. In all, within and without, I am now, and will be loving without condition, secure in myself in peace.” 

That works perfectly for me and I think it would work equally well for others. If we can say that to each other and have it come from the heart, there is nothing but love, regardless of the longevity. Divorce would only mean a change in focus and temporary location.

I grew up with two nasty divorces. The divorces weren’t a bad thing, but I saw the nastiness as completely unnecessary and foreign to my psyche. I vowed it would never happen that way to me. It hasn’t. It won’t. It could never be.

Why? Because I learned one of the most valuable lessons that have guided my life: Love is not really love if it can be something other than love. In other words, love could never turn into hate. Love is the equivalent vibration of freedom, empowerment, joy, and appreciation. It vibrates there. Anger, hate, distrust, powerlessness vibrate at a much different frequency. They are incompatible. If you love, you love. If you love, you forgive. If you love, you allow. If you love, you are not attached and do not cling (despair). If you love, you will always love. Love does not require circumstances for itself. It is. Regardless of circumstances.

I simply have to repeat one of my all-time favorite quotes by one of my lifelong mentors, Wayne Dyer, where he gave the single best definition of unconditional love I’ve ever read: “Love is the ability and willingness to allow others that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you.” 

In the immediacy of the situation, one can dislike the choices that another will choose to make, but love is the ability, and the willingness, to allow those choices to be acceptable, to be perfect for them, because they were made by the other person, and because love carries no insistence, no demands, to satisfy me, or then withhold my love and respect. If that were the case, it would not be love. It would not be freedom. It would not be appreciation. It would not be empowerment. It would not be joy. It would be some other vibration–something else entirely.

I Have Learned What Love Means To Me. Simply One Of The Most Powerful Lessons I Could Ever Have Learned. 

Spread Some Joy Today–by loving who you are, where you are, with whom you are in the presence of.

It’s Not The Messenger Or The Message That Matters

“You only hear
what you are ready to hear.” 

— Abraham, Esther Hicks 

[Classic post from 9-11-16]

Some people do not understand the power of words. They seem to think and have tried thousands of times to kill the messenger thinking that this will kill the message. But, it never has, nor will it ever. The word is infinitely more powerful than any messenger who may bring it. Victor Hugo said it well when he said, “Nothing is more powerful than an idea whose time has come.”

The audiobook, The Secret, which was the catalyst that immediately changed my life in a major way, was all about the message that was as old as the words that made it, and was throughout history hidden from the many, supposedly in fear, that if they understood it, those in power would lose that power and privilege. Fear is an all-consuming thing.

But, here is the message that matters, as Jesus said in Mark 4:9: “Whoever has ears to hear, let them hear.” It’s really not the messenger, and it really isn’t even so much the message. It is the asking. As in another very popular Bible verse from Matthew 7: “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.” 

There’s another colloquial expression that works here too: “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” Again, it is not the message or the messenger, it is the asking. It is the ears that are ready to hear.

I know several people, and I have always known several people that I would love to see be happier, more loving, enjoying life more, to let go of the rope more often, and so on. I used to try and try and try to move them toward those positive ideals, and they tenaciously held on to the rope of their choices. My grand lesson is tied to this trying in that I cannot change another no matter what message I speak, no matter how skilled and practiced I may be as a messenger. All I can do is to be who I am, to share the message peacefully that I have been inspired to share, and the rest is not up to me. It is the asking. It is the readiness to receive. It is the desire to know. And, none of those things are in my slightest control.

It took me some time and awareness in my own study to realize this valuable lesson. And, I didn’t just learn it about me sharing with others and they’re being ready to hear or not, but also for myself and that there is always more to know and whether I will know it has to do with my own readiness, willingness, asking in order to receive.

As I look briefly in the rearview mirror, I can see how many messages were there for me, but I was closed to them. I was not yet asking. I might have been asking for other things, ready for other things, but not yet this message. Yet, this is not something to be even the slightest bit upset about because all of our lives are a journey, and we all learn as we go, ask as we are ready, and receive when we are willing to allow. I have come to believe that it is all perfect and in perfect timing. The best I can do is to be open to continued learning as much as I can, in as much as I am currently asking.

I laugh about it today, but in mid-2007, when I first became aware of the Teachings of Abraham, and Esther and Jerry Hicks, I was afraid. The message scared me from teachings that I had learned in the past. As I allowed myself to be open to the message without killing the messenger, I found myself with ears to hear. I had been asking already, and it came in the perfect time for me, which has set me on a certain path ever since that first hearing. I am so thankful for the message because it has brought me joy, peace, love, happiness, calmness, appreciation, and much more. I asked, and I received. I listened, and I heard. I knocked, and it was opened to me. And, as powerful as their message has been for me and a few million others, it is not the message, but my asking, my willingness, and my allowing.

When The Teacher Is Ready, The Students Will Appear. 

Spread Some Joy Today–by loving yourself today. Forget about all the cares and woes and the things-to-do list. Chill. Take a break. Let the love of your Spirit flow over you and cleanse you today.

It Is About People

“I believe a leaf of grass is no less
than the journey-work of the stars.” 

— Walt Whitman 

[Classic post from 8-13-16]

Yesterday at the bank, a very brief conversation about history arose. One of the newest women who wasn't there that day was said to be quite the history buff. So am I. . . sometimes.

I briefly mentioned how little regard I had for history in school because it seemed to only be interested in dates, places, special people, and so-called important events. I said as I was leaving that, “history is not about dates and events. It is about people.” 

What makes a good historical study? The people involved and how they thought, how they felt, what circumstances surrounded them, how they were taught, what they believed, what they wrote in diaries, what they said to each other verbally and in letters, and more. Essentially, it is about people. The first manned flight at Kitty Hawk was nothing without the man and the men behind it. 

History bored me to tears in high school. I would come to class and there would be an outline written on the chalkboard that covered an entire wall that we were to copy down. It focused so much on dates and events; e.g., when was the Revolutionary War? The battle of Gettysburg? The declaration of independence? World War I? The Panama Canal? I never understood why the tests were all about these dates and events and so little was ever taught about the people other than some major events such as the Crossing of the Delaware, Lincoln's Emancipation Proclamation, Lincoln's assassination, etc. I passed the tests, but the information meant very little to me.

In all of my schooling, there were two teachers who taught history with a focus on the people. One was in a high school that I only was in for a few months, and the other was a teacher in one class in college. But, it is since I left school that I have become a real history major. I've studied all manner of history for the last 45 years, finding hundreds of great works that bring the people of history to life. 

One thing I've learned about history is that everything is connected in some way to everything else. Leonardo Da Vinci said it this way: “A wave is never found alone, but is mingled with the other waves.” 

Another thing I have learned is that once a thing is finally done, it expands exponentially in ever-widening circles like dropping a rock in a calm lake. The Wright Brothers created the first manned sustained powered flight of a heavier than air aircraft in 1903, and barely 24 years later, an unknown mail pilot was the first person to cross the Atlantic ocean from New York to Paris in an airplane. Now powered flight is so common with hundreds of people on each flight that we don't even think about it as an amazing thing. And yet it is an amazing thing.

We are each creating history. It is equally important as any history ever created. Our history would be equally fascinating to many others as any history ever created. People are amazing. There are as many great stories in your life as in anyone's life.

You have chosen your life, your times, your tribulations, your delightful interludes, and massive successes. You are living your life–boldly going where you have not been before–and leaving a path where you have been. Are you less important than Abraham Lincoln? Hell no! He simply gets more media attention.

It is said by Abraham, Esther Hicks that there is no difference in the creation of a button or a castle. One is not harder than the other. A Course in Miracles says, “There is no order of difficulty in miracles. One is not “harder” or “bigger” than another. They are all the same. All expressions of love are maximal.” And then is added this: “Miracles as such do not matter. The only thing that matters is their Source, which is far beyond evaluation.” 

We all come from the same Source. We are all as much a miracle as anyone who has ever lived or ever will live. Celebrate yourself as a miracle, as someone with a grand history; albeit, a unique one and that alone makes your history special in the same way that your uniqueness makes you special–not more special than anyone else–equally special in the heart of the Creator.

You Are Living The Perfect Life Right Now. Change It As You Will, And It Yet Remains Perfect Right Now. 

Spread Some Joy Today–in celebration. Celebrate your life. Enjoy your history. When you are celebrating your history you are doing it not in the past, but in the present.

The Benefits Of Change

“Change brings opportunity.” 

— Nido Qubein 

[Classic post from 8-27-14]

I was thinking about change and how often we might feel that we don’t like change much unless of course, it is fully to our benefit and perfectly timed. Good luck with that.

What I was realizing is that without change, nothing moves, and nothing happens. Change is necessary. It is desired when we realize that we cannot live without it. Aristotle said, “Change in all things is sweet.” He had it down pat.

Sometimes we might think that we need to change for the better because of what is or has been being less than perfect. I don’t think that has anything to do with it, except that whatever decisions we make are always made in the hopes of feeling better.

It is more about expansion than anything. We are expanding beings, the Universe is expanding, and that is what we want: expansion. Some might call it growth, but I like the word expansion better. We cannot help but expand and change is the only way it can come about.

So many of the quotes I’ve reviewed about change put change in a positive light and that it is necessary and good. I agree. It’s when we are in a rut, or doing the same things over and over without even thinking about it that things get dull. That contrast leads to a desire for a change. We can only sleep so long and then we just have to get up and get going.

Movement is life. Change is movement. When I understand the value of a change in this way, I look forward to the change and the opportunities.

“Change Alone Is Eternal, Perpetual, Immortal.” — Arthur Schopenhauer 

Spread Some Joy Today–by building on your list of positive aspects daily. A great way to start is at the top of the page, write “I love. . .” and then fill in the blank lines. Call it a joy-builder and a life-enhancer.

The Ways

“It's not that some people
have willpower and some don't…
It's that some people are ready
to change and others are not.”

— James Gordon

[Classic post from 2-21-13]

I see it all around me–people that need to change. Sue Grafton said it in an interesting way: “You can't save others from themselves because those who make a perpetual muddle of their lives don't appreciate your interfering with the drama they've created. They want your poor-sweet-baby sympathy, but they don't want to change.” Then, there's that very old phrase I've used many times, “you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.”

No matter what I think, people will change when they decide they want or need to change. The best I can do is to attempt to inspire them, remind them, and even sometimes guide them, and the rest is totally up to them.

This is as it should be. As I live my life, I find things that work and incorporate them into my life, with that change, I may share my experience and others will do as they will with that. One of the things that I have to constantly remind myself of is that there are so many ways of doing a thing, and whatever I have chosen is a way. I remind myself as often as necessary that there is no way, there is your way, my way, and their way, and they are all ways.

As a result of reminding myself about the ways, I see Sue's comment, which I've agreed with many times, and I see in it that as we say “those who make a perpetual muddle of their lives,” is entirely judgmental and not in a positive way. It's true that “they don't appreciate your interfering with the drama they've created,” because those are their choices and the drama is their payoff probably. So be it. And, they often want sympathy. So be it. However, we can let them choose their way, and choose our own by walking away.

One last perspective. I so enjoy hearing others share their “way” and what they've learned. I especially love their passion when I hear it and see it.

There Is Plenty Of Room For Each And Every Way.

Spread Some Joy Today–If you can, take a break and find a place with people around and just watch them, see the different ways they act, clothes they wear, shapes of their bodies, voices, everything. It is so fascinating.

My Concerns Have Little Effect

“Such concerns had little effect.” 

— David McCullough
from The Wright Brothers book 

[Classic post from 12-30-15]

I'm nearly finished with my latest audiobook, The Wright Brothers by David McCullough, and what an absolutely fascinating story this is. What I learned in high school about The Wright Brothers and their flying machine is so sad compared to what I've learned 'reading' this book. And to hear that familiar voice of David McCullough reading his book to me personally is a delight to say it mildly.

It cracks me up how when reading or listening to a book how a phrase just leaps out at me. It also cracks me up what those phrases are. In the early portion of this book, the quote above totally got my attention: “Such concerns had little effect.” I had to stop and write it down and ponder it further: “Such concerns had little effect.”

In the book, David was talking about the new bicycle craze that hit the country in the early 1890s. The Wright brothers and their sister Katherine joined the craze and were taking long outings on their bicycles and having a wonderful time. David wrote that “the bicycle was proclaimed a boon to all mankind, a thing of beauty, good for the spirits, good for health and vitality, indeed one's whole outlook on life.”

In the next paragraph, he stated that “Voices were raised in protest. Bicycles were proclaimed morally hazardous. Until now children and youth were unable to stray very far from home on foot. Now, one magazine warned, fifteen minutes could put them miles away.” He went on with other reported concerns about this new bicycle craze with warnings attempting to scare people away from owning or riding bicycles.

Then he writes, “Such concerns had little effect. Everybody was riding bicycles, men, women, all ages and from all walks of life.” And, it was in the spring of 1893 that Wilbur and Orville Wright opened their own small bicycle business and in a short time began designing and manufacturing bicycles as the Wright Cycle Company.

As I pondered that phrase, “such concerns had little effect,” I thought of how many times in history in general, and in our own history in particular, that we have had concerns about something going on somewhere outside, or even within our lives that we have unfounded concerns about. In fact, a very high percentage of the news in a newspaper and even a higher percentage of the news online and on the television expresses concerns about events and especially potential events. It seems that the controversy is what drives the ratings.

The most popular blogs are popular because of their choices in controversial subjects. Everyone is seemingly concerned about all manner of things that may happen, especially those that are based on current events, whether accurately portrayed or not, and as in all of history based on my own learning, they are so often portrayed inaccurately.

To think that all of our own concerns and those of millions of others might have little effect is to give hope to all. It seems that we worry and concern ourselves with so many things that never come to be. Isn't that true with worry in general? Being concerned about something that might happen is a complete waste of time and energy, yet it is a popular activity.

Today, when you feel worried or concerned about something, say this phrase aloud or to yourself: “Such concerns will have little effect. Almost all of my concerns will have little effect. I choose to let this go now. I choose to trust instead.”

In All Of My Life, All Of My Concerns Have Had Little Effect. I Am Dropping The Rope. Now. 

Spread Some Joy Today–There is no joy in concerns and worry. Yet, as we let go of them, we instantly rise to a better emotional place.

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Mesa, AZ