Category: Joy

Am I A Sounding Board For Discontent?

“There is no reason
to deliberately stir up problems
in order to stir up solutions.” 

— Abraham, Esther Hicks 

[Classic post from 4-1-16]

Sometimes a friend, or loved one is, in our opinion, going off course, and we want to be of assistance to help get them back on track. They are focused on problems and we want solutions, but often, the problems are the dominant discussion in our communications with them. It is what is, after all. It is easy to discuss what is. We often call that reality, truth, what is real, what is. Yet, regardless of how adept we get at discussing or analyzing the problem, the solutions can only come by turning away from the problem and on to the potential solutions.

We want to help. It’s a friend. It’s a family member. It’s a loved one. It’s natural to want to help, but again, what is typically done here is discussing the problems at length.

Abraham, Esther Hicks explains, “If you allow yourself to be the sounding board for your friend’s problems, your power of influence will be paltry, and you will be of no value to your friend.” 

“You are of no discernible assistance to your troubled friend unless you are able to focus in the direction of the solution. In the direction of what he wants, or in the direction of what you desire for him. If you are determined to feel good and are able to focus in the direction of improvement for him despite his continual prodding at this problem, your power of influence toward improvement will be powerful.” 

They continue: “It is important to realize that the negative emotion that you often feel when you are worried about a troubled friend is actually present because your focus is pulling you apart from yourself. Your friend may be the reason for your focus, but your friend is not the reason you are pulling against yourself. Your focus is the reason for that. Looking for positive aspects and expecting good outcomes for your friends is the only way you can be of value to them, for there is no action that you can offer that is strong enough to buck your current of negative attention.” 

Without a doubt in me, the most important and depth-reaching part of the Teachings of Abraham is what they call the Emotional Guidance System. In simple terms, when we are feeling positive emotions, we are in alignment with our inner being, the God within, or whatever terminology for that you prefer. They prefer Inner Being just to keep it simple. And, when we are feeling negative emotion, that emotion is an indication of being out of alignment with our Inner Being. You could also use the term Inner Knowing, or God Connection.

Sometimes people say to me that feeling good is not the end-all. No, that would be constant negative emotion. But, what they mean is that the emotions are not a guidance system at all, but only something we feel. Yet, if you were to test it for a time in earnest, I am convinced you will find that what they are teaching and I am expressing is a perfect and accurate description of how to control our own lives, and how to be an influence on others.

When we look at a friend or loved one–in fact, whatever we focus on–will cause us to have thoughts about what we are seeing or experiencing. And those thoughts as compared to our Inner Being’s thoughts about us, are either a match or within a similar vibrational vicinity, or they are not. When they are, we could be said to be following God’s will for us, being guided by Angels, or the Universal Mind. When we are not in alignment, we are resisting, struggling, and the negative emotion we are feeling is that indication.

As we see a friend or relative in a place that looks painful for them, and it is also for us if we focus on where they are, we are pretty much helpless to be of assistance, but when we focus on our own alignment first, as in the airline instructions to put your oxygen mask on first, then help others, we can be of service. Then from our own alignment, we can imagine the friend or loved one in the place that is in their best interests for themselves, or in our best imagining of our vision of that healthy, and joyous, whole person.

As we pay attention to this guidance, our lives get better and better and better, and those around us get better and better and better. Those that don’t, disappear.

Being Helpful Means Focusing On The Help, Not The Hurt. 

Spread Some Joy Today–by creating your own joy, then sharing it with the world around you.

In Or Out Of The Storm

“When you. . .
acknowledge your power
as a co-creator of your life,
you stop being a victim.
When you are not a victim,
you have choice.
When you are in choice,
you are in your power
and you are not frightened.”

— Paul Selig
from I Am the Word

[Classic post from 9-15-17]

Have you ever known, or know one or more now, who are like the Pig Pen character from the Peanuts comic strip where there is a shit storm going on all around them. Something is always going wrong. Someone or several others are always taking advantage of them or finding fault. There seems to always be someone that is out to get them.

It is part of the drama triangle which includes the victim, the persecutor, and the rescuer. This is a game that has no winners. Regardless of which of these three roles I might play, I lose. Believe me, I've played them all and even became proficient at each role.

But what I found after wising up to the game was that stepping outside of the game is where joy is. As I let go of any of those roles, I gain peace. In fact, joy and peace come automatically. They always come automatically when we let go.

The drama triangle is tempting. It is easy to participate in. You listen to someone's sad story and your heart wants to rescue them, or your inner parent wants to counsel them to a better place, your inner fear wants to persecute them, but realize this, as this is done from the mirage of the heart or the nurturing falsehood or disgust of the mind, I am in the game. As I am in the game, I go from role to role to role. I begin to crave rescuing people or playing the victim looking for sympathy and comradery, finding others to blame, to persecute and complain about.

The best thing that can happen to us is an awareness that we are in the game. Once we see we are in the game, we have an opportunity to step out of the circle of influence of the game. We can turn away and right there we are free of the game and in peace and joy.

This game goes on at work with co-workers, the owner or supervisor, other managers, customers, vendors, and others. It goes on at home with spouses, relatives, children, neighbors, friends. It goes on in our mind as we seem to be thinking all by ourselves going from one role to another in our minds about something we did or didn't do, should have done, shouldn't have done, might do, want to do, questioning ourselves, cajoling, feeling sorry for ourselves, and well. . . I'm guessing you know what I'm talking about.

The answer is always the same. Play the game, or step away from the game. Having become quite good at the game, I found that the joy and peace outside is infinitely superior in every way.

How About The Joy Triangle Instead: Joy, Peace, Love. That's A Glorious Game! 

Spread Some Joy Today–by creating your own Joy Triangle.

Celebrating Our Abundance!

“In the realm of abundance,
there is no such thing as a fair share.
Heck, there’s no such thing as share.
All there is, is all there is.
There is no need for more,
and no such thing as less.
In fact, there is no need.”

Albert K. Strong

Today is the perfect day and now is the perfect time (now is always the perfect time!) to celebrate your abundance. You can celebrate mine if you like, or others you know, and we will celebrate with you, yet, today and right now it is so important for you to celebrate your abundance. We each have abundance in our lives. We are abundant. Sharing that abundance is what helps others to recognize their own abundance. Let’s make it an abundance-fest!

Not feeling your abundance? The first place to look is your rulebook. We all have rules about abundance. It’s good to look at those rules from time to time. Many of those rules may be clouding your vision. You don’t need glasses or better glasses. No. You probably need to change your rules.

Here’s an idea! Get rid of them entirely! No more rules. No more layers of dogma covering your abundance. Now it will be open and alive and visible to all. Yes! How exciting that is!

Some rules may be that abundance must be a number. Hmm. It is estimated that there are about 30 trillion cells in each of our bodies. Is 30 trillion a good numerical amount? How about 2,190,000? Is that a good numerical amount? That’s how many thoughts most of us have in a year. That’s about 6,000 per day. Whew! Some of us are thinking a lot of thoughts! How about 86,400? Good number? That’s how many seconds each of us has in a day. Wow. A year would be… a big number!

Rules, rules, rules. We create so many rules that limit our possibilities and then complain that we are not getting our share, and in truth, we are all so abundant.

Maybe we think abundance must be prosperity? We are all prosperous as we choose. I love Albert K. Strong’s thought on that: “Prosperity is very simply, and most pleasantly, a state of mind.” That means it is a perspective or a way of looking at things. 

OK. Prosperity. How much love do you have to give? You have an infinite supply! How much kindness do you have available to you? More than you have time to give away. How much joy can you have if you allowed yourself to have joy? Far more than you can possibly spread or feel. 

I recently republished Thomas Troward’s insightful and inspiring piece called The Spirit of Opulence. Here is just a snipit that fits well here:

“If we clearly realize that the creative power in ourselves is unlimited, then there is no reason for limiting the extent to which we may enjoy what we can create by means of it. Where we are drawing from the infinite, we need never be afraid of taking more than our share. That is not where the danger lies. The danger is in not sufficiently realizing our own richness, and in looking upon the externalized products of our creative power as being the true riches instead of the creative power of spirit itself.”

We all have abundance in our lives and it is up to us to recognize and celebrate that abundance. I celebrate your abundance as I celebrate my own. We all live in such an abundant world.

How Does It Feel To Be Set Free?

“Sometimes we are feeling off, bad, not good,
not alive, and we don't know why.
Then something awakens us and makes it clear
as if we have been blind to it all before,
and then we come alive again.
What a special moment that is.”

— Albert K. Strong

Many years ago as part of my 52-mile each way commute, I passed a fenced yard that had a post in the ground in the center, and tied to the post was a donkey who wore out a circular pattern in the yard down and into the dirt and nothing grew in that path. I'm sure that animal went around and around and around and around again constantly hoping to escape the limits of the rope tied to the post. I saw that almost every day for four years. I've never forgotten it.

I haven't forgotten it because it reminds me so much of how many of us are bound in a similar way with our repetitive thoughts, beliefs, and choices. As an observer, it is easy to see others doing the same things over and over even receiving the same negative results and emotions without change. Seeing that as an observer in my own bondage was not as easy until I began becoming aware that I am more than this and that I can observe and direct my life. I often refer to that as being the pinball bouncing off the bumpers, getting flipped back and forth with more bumping, or choosing to be the player instead.

How does it feel to be set free? I chose the image for this post because I thought that is how being set free feels. Freedom can be taken for granted very easily until bondage wears us to the point of our willingness to choose otherwise.

At some point, as we choose, we become inspired.  It might be a person saying something to us, a book passage, a video, a movie, or a thousand other ways. In any case, all of a sudden we become alive again, or more alive than we've felt in some time. We are inspired to make decisions, and raring to move forward making positive changes. What a special moment that is! I LOVE being inspired! I love being passionate and excited. I love seeing with new eyes. And, I am in constant gratitude for all of those who were the kindling to my inspirational fire.

In these sentences from Abraham, Esther Hicks, they explain some of this very succinctly:

“You are so free that you can choose bondage.”

“Bondage is about the individual attachment to the vibration that disallows the Well-being from flowing.”

I love what a favorite author, Jack London, said about inspiration. “I don't wait for inspiration. I go after it with a club!”

When the student is ready, the teacher always appears.

We Don’t Know

“Prejudice is to prejudge.
It means that we judge before we know.
We choose or accept a point of view
without care or concern,
and we do that out of fear.”

— Albert K. Strong

One of the more important things to me that I learned from Paul Selig's books expands on the Bible's teaching about judging not lest ye be judged. The sentence that brought this powerfully home to me was this: “You don't know why they came here or what they chose to learn.” That may be slightly paraphrased, but I thought, “wow! that is for sure and for certain.”

In Paul's book, The Book of Love and Creation, that I have so marked up you would laugh if you saw it, here is how he expands on this:

“The moment you understand that you are not the one in authority here in terms of judgment, you can begin to liberate the self. What this means, very simply, is humility. Are you in your humility? Who are you to judge your fellow man for their behavior? Do you know what they have come here to learn? Do you know what their choices are? What pain they have experienced? Or what light may be there for them at the end of their lesson? You do not know. How can you pretend to know at that level? If you are judging them, we promise you this: You do not know. You are in your illusion and in your self-congratulatory-ness, you have given yourself a nice dose of separation from your own knowing and from the flow of the love of the Creator that would work through you.”

Since learning this in this way, I have never forgotten it. When I find myself judging which is a reckless act of the ego, I am in my awareness and will stop pretty quickly now. I realize that I am judging and I do not want to judge anyone else. We have grown up making all manner of judgments about others and we do not know. 

Unconditional love is what allows others to be as they are without any need to satisfy me or comply with my beliefs, rules, or imaginings. That is not like getting on that horse and riding like a champion. It is a practice. Falling off the horse from time to time keeps me in my humility and is a welcome reminder to mind my own business. I am a handful by myself.

Compassion For All

“Seemingly all of a sudden
I realized that I had the capacity 
to love every person and thing.” 

— Albert K. Strong 

Compassion. It’s a word that is bandied about with ease. And my understanding of the word is different from the definition in the dictionary that I just read: “a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.” That’s like saying, “I feel sorry for you and your affliction(s), here’s my ten-step method for curing your ills and releasing your suffering.” Silly.

Compassion to me is a grand word, filled with practical and powerful selfless love without any agenda or need of repair. What a radical difference.

I have to share this beautiful and insightful quote by one of my favorite old “new age” thinkers, Albert Einstein.

“A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.” 

I take issue with only one short phrase: “Our task must be to. . .” There really aren’t any rules, and any observant person of the world around us can see that not so many are accepting this task, regardless of the stature of the person suggesting it. No, it’s not a must. It’s a potential choice. I say potential because we can choose yes and we can choose to ignore it completely.

I have been on this journey of learning to make use of what Abraham, Esther Hicks calls the Art of Allowing. This art or activity is the essence of compassion to me. As I allow others to be what they choose for themselves, and as I don’t insist that they be a certain way on my behalf, I am loving them without condition. There is no better way to define the Art of Allowing to me. 

I’ve been practicing for some time now, but it is only in the most recent years that I have taken off the training wheels so to speak. In releasing myself to practice my own version of compassion in the Art of Allowing, and in expressing and feeling unconditional love, I have come so much closer to the person I truly want to be inside and out.

I’m Thankful For Being Thankful

At first glance, the title of this post may seem strange. A few years ago, I was making a list of things I was thankful for that began with, “I'm thankful for…” The list was long and included a lot of people, things, events, and more. In about the middle of the list, as I was rereading it today, I saw I wrote that I was thankful for being thankful. It jumped off the page into my focused attention. I thought, “wow.”

I love that I wrote that and I know why. It is because becoming thankful not only changed my life for the better, it transformed it. That concept now rules my life in my joyous journey.

Today is the first day of 2021 and I can see that so many have lots of issues with 2020 and many wish it never happened. Yet, for me, I see 2020 as the best year of my life so far. Yes. The best year of my life.

How can that be? It is from the accumulated and constantly expanding thankful outlook. Some very powerful changes came in 2020 for me and they all turned out to be so full of joy that it is almost overwhelming. I won't make a list, but it is a long list of the things and events that I am so thankful for in 2020.

We all have one thing unique to us alone and that is our perspective. No one can see through our eyes, our heart, our thoughts. Only we have that privilege. We can share that perspective with others but our explanation will pale in comparison to our actual experiencing of our own reality.

I hope that many of you had a great year as well. There are problems every year. There are unusual events every year. Change is a constant companion. And yet, each of us individually has the ultimate power of our choice of perspective. We get to choose how we either respond or react to our experiences. Awareness helps us to make those choices consciously. Therein lies my thankfulness.

Alignment Is An Inside Job

Here is an enlightening and uplifting passage from Abraham, Esther Hicks, and from the book, The Vortex that I find worth remembering, or maybe better said, re-membering. 

Of the 22 flawed premises written about in the book, this is #19: A good relationship is one in which the dominant intention of each person is to find agreement and harmony with the other.

“How could two people looking to find harmony with each other possibly be the wrong basis for a good relationship and a happy life? Both people have created their own Vibrational Escrow (Vibrational Reality) to which they must seek harmony if they are to be happy. When finding harmony with your mate takes precedence over finding harmony with your Inner Self, there is a strong probability that discord between you and Source will occur. That feeling of discord is then translated as a feeling of loss of freedom; and then your partner, with whom you truly want to find harmony, begins to feel less good. Your loss of connection to your own Source feels off to you, and is off, and so then (without wanting to) you begin to resent the partner whom you are trying to please. In short, there is no substitution for alignment with Source.

Again, you are looking for love in all the wrong places. We are not suggesting that you should not want to get along well with your mate. But we are strongly suggesting the powerful benefit of seeking, first, alignment with Source. When you find alignment with the Source within you, you also find alignment with your furthermost expansion. And when you are in alignment with who-you-really-are and all that you have become, you are then automatically in harmony with the best of your relationship with your partner.

Couples, or anyone involved in co-creating of any kind, who attempt harmony by trying first to please each other always discover the flaw in that premise. If you are not selfish enough to seek and find harmony with your Source, you have nothing to give your partner anyway.

If you see it as your job to keep your partner happy, and so you work hard and behave in ways that please your mate, you are actually setting your mate up for ultimate unhappiness because you are training that person to look to you and your behavior in order to feel good rather than seeking personal alignment with Source. And no matter how good you are at pleasing, and no matter how hard you try, you do not make a good substitute for your partner’s alignment with Source.

The message that you want to convey to the others with whom you are co-creating is this: “I will never hold you responsible for the way I feel. I have the power to focus myself into alignment with my Source, and therefore I have the power to keep myself feeling good.” If that is your true intention, then you have discovered the path, the only path, to true freedom and true happiness. But if your happiness is dependent upon the intentions or beliefs or behaviors of any other, you are trapped, for you cannot control any of that.”

Love Will Not Be Distorted

“Anything that is selfish, frankly, is not, could not, will not be love. “If I love you so much, you will never leave me,” is not love. It is fear. “I love you so much I would never be with anybody else” is fear, and it is a projection on the other, the object of love, as leaving you. These are all manifestations of fear that you conjure and create with to bring about a distortion. And love will not be distorted. It cannot be. It cannot be tampered with because it is a high frequency. And a high frequency, so you see, will always stand in congruence with the Creative Source.”

— Paul Selig
The Book of Love and Creation

All Relationships Are A Co-Creation

All relationships are always a co-creation. Regardless of the health or longevity of the relationship, both parties, or all parties are involved in one way or another throughout time.

There are always at least two perspectives in a relationship. It will never be one, although certain agreements may exist.

And, in every relationship, we always bring ourselves and all of our accumulated history and knowledge along.

This is why good, effective communication is so important.

There is a lot going on within ourselves, and now in a relationship, there is substantially more that can cause drama and intrigue, as well as love, joy, and freedom.

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Mesa, AZ