Category: Gratitude

I Recommend Pleasant

“Years ago my mother used to say to me; she’d say,
“In this world, Elwood, you must be,”
– she always called me Elwood –
“In this world, you must be oh so smart, or oh so pleasant.”
Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant.
You may quote me.”

— Elwood P Dowd

“Well, I’ve wrestled with reality for 35 years, doctor,
and I’m happy to state I’ve finally won out over it.”

— Elwood P Dowd

[Classic post from 5-17-10]

I love movies. It is my favorite sport. A few days ago, I watched Harvey with Jimmy Stewart again, and it is such a lovable movie. I pulled these two quotes above from Jimmy’s character, Elwood P Dowd. And, I agree with Elwood totally. I recommend pleasant as well.

One of the most pleasant things that we can do for one another is to find things about the other to give compliments about. It need not be elaborate, just something that you notice that you are sincere about.

Just a few years ago, I began looking at every individual that comes into my view and thinking to myself about something that I liked about them. Maybe it was that they looked like they were in really good physical shape like they worked out regularly, and I would make a comment about that, or ask them a question such as, ‘how do you get your stomach so flat?’ This, of course, is a compliment in a question, and it gets them talking about that aspect of themselves and helps them feel really good about themselves. It is powerfully healing.

Maybe it is a blouse or shirt that looks great, their hair looks super or they have such a beautiful smile. Any of those things are wonderful to them. Maybe it is how sharply dressed someone is, or the shine on their shoes, the healthy glow of their skin, or the awesome car they are driving. You name it, there is something to find in everyone, every day that you could compliment them about.

As I began looking for things and also began stating those things aloud, even taking the chance of blowing it, each and every time, you can just watch that person light up. I even say it to my wife every day in some way. Whether she is dressed up or dressed down, I always find something to compliment her on.

All of this has created a change in me where I find that I like and appreciate virtually every person. Those that I may struggle with a bit because of my past judgmental attitudes, I now have a quote that I remember and play in my head often by Abe Lincoln: “I don’t like that man. I’ll have to get to know him better.” I am finding this to be true–getting to know someone is the way to liking them.

If I could have just one power, it would not be to have all the money I want, it would be to have the eyes of Jesus of Nazareth and see the real people underneath the flesh and bones and attitudes–to see them as they really are inside. Not all the things they’ve done wrong, but the magic that is each of us in spirit and personality when unencumbered. I’m working on it, and dare I say, making just a bit of progress. What fun and what joy!

Pleasantville Is A Good Place To Be.

Spread Some Joy Today–Start today. Look at everyone you see today, but in a different way than usual. Don’t compare yourself to them, but look for something that you like about them today. As you see that thing, make sure, and tell them. Just walk right up and say it. The second one is easier, then easier, and then you will be changing lives daily with nothing but a little sincere praise. How awesome is that?

Creating A Grand Life

[Note: This is the ending excerpt from a 6-minute talk from 2015 that I gave to a group of high school teenagers about to go into the workforce or on to college. I think it might be good for any age or condition.]

Throughout my life, I encountered resistance, some from others, but much of it from myself. I used to call them problems. Sometimes it was called drama. As I grew, I began to call them challenges. And, now, I call it contrast. Still, the one thing that stands out is the fact that all of them were helpful though I may not have had eyes to see that immediately. The contrast has caused within me a desire for something else, something more, and I made new choices or course corrections which has led me quite perfectly to where I am today.

Here’s some of the best advice I can give from my own experience:

1. Be willing to try and fail. Take chances. Change the word work to play.
2. Never fear losing your job. Have confidence in your ability and abilities. Change is a given. Be the best you can be.
3. Always be looking ahead, while enjoying the present fully. Discovery is meaningful and valuable.
4. Invest and reinvest in yourself throughout your life. Become more every day.
5. Be a life-long learner. Educate yourself. Leaders are readers!
6. Do what you love, and love what you do. Follow your heart and passion. Be your own counsel.
7. Develop and expand constantly an attitude of gratitude and appreciation.
8. Learn to express yourself and your value. You are worthy and important.
9. Give willingly and openly. Become a generous person.
10. Enjoy yourself. Seek joy. Decide on purpose every single day.

Remember, the American Dream is not about money, things, and position. It is and always was, about freedom–freedom of choice, freedom to move, freedom of speech, freedom to grow. And, it has nothing to do with where you start because everyone starts somewhere. There is no way. There is your way, my way, and their way. Everyone has a way. You and you alone are in charge of your choices, decisions, and actions. You are worthy. You are loved, and you matter.

Love Is Always Love

Here’s the single most important thing that I learned about love and my going through a divorce. Love does not change into hate or any other negative emotion. Love is love. If it is not love, then it never was love. I’ll repeat that because it was so profound to me once I got it. Love is always love. If it is not love now, then it never was love. It was something else. Love does not morph into pain, hate, revenge, or any other negative emotion. Love always remains Love if it was love, to begin with. 

Great Self-Love Resource

I think there is no better resource to learn to Love ourselves be In Love with ourselves than the late Louise Hay of Hay House Publishing. She wrote so many books on this subject and they all are powerful. Some of the titles are How To Love Yourself, Heal Your Body, Love Your Body, Mirror Work, Life Loves You, You Can Heal Your Life and many more. I learned so much about Loving myself in her book, Love Your Body. Many of us have a tendency when looking in the mirror or looking at a photo of ourselves to look for the potholes. We know them from the inside, so we seek recognition of them on the outside. Look at those bags under my eyes, my eyelids are so droopy, those pores are so big, that whitehead shouldn’t be there, and I want it gone, and this list is virtually endless. Louise taught me to begin praising myself and the individual parts of me until now as I walk by a mirror, I find joy and send Loving thoughts back at my reflection along with gratitude for that which I am in my physical body.

Our Amazing Bodies

Our bodies are such amazing creations. The size of our body changes all the time. Sometimes the changes are small, and everything fits as it has and other times, we have alternate sized clothing standing by to handle the changes. We may delight in eating to the point of having added some inches and pounds and yet the body knows what to do with that excess. It stores it for future needs in the form of fat. We rarely notice the feeling of an added 10 lbs. or more because it is stored throughout the body and our body adapts to that new environment pretty easily. So instead of condemning ourselves for eating too much or of having gained some pounds, we can praise our body for how brilliantly it handles the additional load we have given it. The body didn’t gain weight on its own. It was our choices that brought this on; however, there is no value whatsoever in belittling ourselves, berating ourselves, seeing ourselves in a negative light. Praise, acceptance and Loving will change all of that. Begin immediately and allow this new attitude of what you look like to yourself to change you for the better. Now you can Love yourself no matter what.

Joyful Pivoting Mid-Sentence

On the journey toward more self-love. It is time to become aware of the self-talk and how often it is negative in tone. We’ve got this voice in our head going on all day long. Begin to catch it mid-sentence and transform the current talk to that with positive, uplifting tones. Here is a rampage of appreciation to help get you started:

I am as I am. I am perfect the way I am. I am an aspect of the Creator. I am loved. I am a lover. I love myself. I love others. I am in joy. I love the feeling of being in joy. I am confident. I am whole. I am in need of nothing. I may desire all that I choose to but I am not in need. I am in joy. My reality is constantly improving. I am building the most magical life for myself. I am of benefit to myself. I am of benefit to so many others. My joyful being is the example of my life to myself and to others. I know how to take control. I am so joyful that I have become aware and that I can change my thoughts to thoughts that are pleasing and that are building instead of tearing down. I am such a powerful being and I love feeling that power. There were times I felt unloved and even powerless, but I turned all of that around and now I find myself reeling in joy. I had no idea that joy was this big. Joy is huge because joy is the same vibrations as Unconditional Love. I love myself. I love my body. I love my awareness. I love my ability to pay attention and guide myself to my joy in any moment and at any moment. And, because I love myself without conditions, I love all others without conditions. It is the most natural thing in the world to be In love and to love all of creation.

Act Great!

What is the key
To untie the knot of your mind’s suffering?

What
Is the esoteric secret
To slay the crazed one whom each of us
Did wed

And who can ruin
Our heart’s and eye’s exquisite tender
Landscape?

Hafiz has found
Two emerald words that
Restored
Me

That I now cling to as I would sacred
Tresses of my Beloved’s
Hair:

Act great.
My dear, always act great.

What is the key
To untie the know of the mind’s suffering?

Benevolent thought, sound
And movement.

— Hafiz

What Kind Of God?

What kind of God would He be
if He did not hear the
bangles ring on
an ant’s
wrist

as they move the earth
in their sweet
dance?

And what kind of God would He be
if a leaf’s prayer was not as precious to creation
as the prayer His own son sang
from the glorious depth
of his soul–
for us.

And what kind of God would He be
if the vote of millions in this world could sway Him
to change the divine
law of
love

that speaks so clearly with compassion’s elegant tongue,
saying, eternally saying:

all are forgiven–moreover, dears,
no one has ever been
guilty.

— Kabir

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Mesa, AZ