Category: Forgiveness

Spread Some Joy Today > Forgiveness

Releasing The Ties To History

“Those who cannot remember the past
are condemned to repeat it.” 

— George Santayana 

[Classic post from 4-18-18]

Along with some of the biggest changes in my life, in the last year, I have been studying every day five texts by Paul Selig. I've gone through them about six times because I wanted to really not only understand the wisdom contained in the texts but to adapt it in my life. Even with a year of these posts I could not share all that I have learned, but some subjects stand apart from the rest, and the one I want to share this morning is about our history, or more accurately, our habitual historical perspective which rules our lives so much, and we are not really aware of it being that way.

Let's take the quote above, which is often misquoted as, “those who cannot remember the past are doomed to repeat it.” The truth is that we repeat it all the time. It has become what we do without any effort or realization that this is the case.

But, before I go on, I must refute the part about being condemned (or doomed, if you prefer) to repeat it. This is ALWAYS our choice, though we claim to want change. It does not happen to us, it is chosen by us in many, many ways that on the surface do not seem like a choice at all.

The one most powerful thing that I have learned from these five texts is that we are always choosing and more often than not, we are choosing the past.

I was in the grocery store the other day and saw a magazine in the rack by the checkout that showed a robotic man-like figure in protective gear holding a rifle that looked like some kind of laser weapon and as I recall the title was war in 2030, or it might have been the weapons of war in 2030. In either case, this is pure history. It is a historical perspective. And many, if not most of us, buy into the idea that war will always be happening somewhere in this crazy world and that we need to stay ahead in the technological expansion of the tools of war. It is complete and utter silliness to me, and so I laughed at the magazine cover as I went about my day.

In these texts, this idea of history and living in a historical perspective and continuing to choose based on our history is the most discussed thing. The first couple of times through the material I was tired of hearing about it, but then I started to truly realize that this was so important for me to get that any repetition only reinforced the idea that I wasn't yet accepting it. My eyes have been opened and I can now see how this is happening in my own life and that of others and the world we live in.

Can we change? Absolutely. Will we change is a better question. But, before we can change, we must understand what and how we are choosing along with the fact that we are always choosing, and have always chosen.

One of the best quotes from these texts is something I've shared before and will again because it is so powerful: “You are not independent of your environment.” But, we think we are. We think that the world rules and that our goal is to comply and adjust as necessary to get what we want, and we are often thwarted at that by circumstance or by what we consider to be other people's decisions, heredity, class stature, etc. This is not true. We certainly can operate this way and I have for most of my life, but that is not the truth, it is merely an interpretation that I make from a historical perspective.

I will continue more tomorrow and beyond, but I want to end this post with a wonderful quote by Benjamin Franklin from his autobiography: “So convenient a thing it is to be a reasonable creature since it enables one to find or make a reason for everything one has a mind to do.”

Here's A Perfect Historical Perspective To (Re-)Consider: “Peace Is The Only Battle Worth Waging.” — Albert Camus

Spread Some Joy Today–as you see that you are not independent of your environment and that you are in charge of it.

Forgiveness Is A Stepping Stone

“Forgiveness is not an end,
nor is it resolve; however, 
 it is a worthy stepping stone
on our own journey toward
gratitude, acceptance,
love, and appreciation.” 

— Albert K Strong 

[Classic post from 9-29-14]

As we have been born into and learned from our parents and others, listened and watched the media, discussed events with other people, it is clear that we live in a world filled with duality. This duality is often spoken of in terms of extremes of opposites, such as good and bad, right and wrong, life and death, health and illness. Often, we are taught to become judges and are encouraged to have strong feelings about these extreme choices one way or the other.

I was listening to an Esther Hicks short session the other day where a woman was talking about how she had been betrayed by their lover or spouse. She was quite upset by it, did not understand it, and the more she thought about it and talked about it, the angrier she became. How could she forgive him for hurting her so? But, forgiveness was not the answer.

When I was in my early twenties, I had a good job, but it was entry-level and I was married and just getting by. A relative needed a loan and the only way it would be made was if someone cosigned the loan. I agreed to help. Within just a few months, they defaulted on the loan and the bank turned to me. I accepted responsibility for the debt, but my thoughts were all about what a bad decision I made, how I should have known better, how they shouldn't have done that to me, and so on.

I thought of something funny from Jim Rohn this morning as I was driving. On a tape, he was talking about a guy he knew who was all upset about this other guy lying to him and taking him for some money and how that was terrible, unforgivable, etc. Jim's answer was this: “What did you expect? That's what liars do–they lie! To think otherwise is naive.”

Here's a great piece on forgiveness by Dr. John F. Demartini from his book, The Breakthrough Experience: “Forgiveness is a self-righteous illusion that makes someone bad or wrong and then presumes to judge and pardon. An apology is judging yourself, and both are guaranteed to perpetuate whatever you judge. The only thing that transcends this dynamic is love.”

He goes on to say, “If you can see that everything in your life serves you, that no matter what you've done or not done it's moving you forward, you suddenly see your own perfection and your heart opens–to yourself.”

In addition, Dr. Demartini says, “There exists a hierarchy of emotional responses in life. Fear and guilt are at the bottom of the ladder; above them are faith, acceptance, and forgiveness; and at the top is the present truth of love, appreciation, and wisdom. Forgiveness is a stage on the path, but once you see that everything serves and there is nothing to forgive, it becomes another myth. The truth requires no forgiveness.”

Although on the surface, and from our lifetime of training, it seems illogical and incomprehensible to be thankful and to find gratitude in these kinds of events, this is the ultimate stepping stone to laying the rope down on that subject. With forgiveness, we are still holding the rope, but we have loosened our grip and are giving slack to the opposing force, yet we are ready in a moment's notice to grip it again.

It Is Not About The Other No Matter What They Are Doing Or Not Doing. It Is Always About Us And Our Own Alignment, Which Is Another Way To Say, The Ultimate Answer Is Love. 

Spread Some Joy Today–by finding several things and situations to be grateful for. This will be especially joyous on those subjects that were previously associated with pain or regret.

Am I A Sounding Board For Discontent?

“There is no reason
to deliberately stir up problems
in order to stir up solutions.” 

— Abraham, Esther Hicks 

[Classic post from 4-1-16]

Sometimes a friend, or loved one is, in our opinion, going off course, and we want to be of assistance to help get them back on track. They are focused on problems and we want solutions, but often, the problems are the dominant discussion in our communications with them. It is what is, after all. It is easy to discuss what is. We often call that reality, truth, what is real, what is. Yet, regardless of how adept we get at discussing or analyzing the problem, the solutions can only come by turning away from the problem and on to the potential solutions.

We want to help. It’s a friend. It’s a family member. It’s a loved one. It’s natural to want to help, but again, what is typically done here is discussing the problems at length.

Abraham, Esther Hicks explains, “If you allow yourself to be the sounding board for your friend’s problems, your power of influence will be paltry, and you will be of no value to your friend.” 

“You are of no discernible assistance to your troubled friend unless you are able to focus in the direction of the solution. In the direction of what he wants, or in the direction of what you desire for him. If you are determined to feel good and are able to focus in the direction of improvement for him despite his continual prodding at this problem, your power of influence toward improvement will be powerful.” 

They continue: “It is important to realize that the negative emotion that you often feel when you are worried about a troubled friend is actually present because your focus is pulling you apart from yourself. Your friend may be the reason for your focus, but your friend is not the reason you are pulling against yourself. Your focus is the reason for that. Looking for positive aspects and expecting good outcomes for your friends is the only way you can be of value to them, for there is no action that you can offer that is strong enough to buck your current of negative attention.” 

Without a doubt in me, the most important and depth-reaching part of the Teachings of Abraham is what they call the Emotional Guidance System. In simple terms, when we are feeling positive emotions, we are in alignment with our inner being, the God within, or whatever terminology for that you prefer. They prefer Inner Being just to keep it simple. And, when we are feeling negative emotion, that emotion is an indication of being out of alignment with our Inner Being. You could also use the term Inner Knowing, or God Connection.

Sometimes people say to me that feeling good is not the end-all. No, that would be constant negative emotion. But, what they mean is that the emotions are not a guidance system at all, but only something we feel. Yet, if you were to test it for a time in earnest, I am convinced you will find that what they are teaching and I am expressing is a perfect and accurate description of how to control our own lives, and how to be an influence on others.

When we look at a friend or loved one–in fact, whatever we focus on–will cause us to have thoughts about what we are seeing or experiencing. And those thoughts as compared to our Inner Being’s thoughts about us, are either a match or within a similar vibrational vicinity, or they are not. When they are, we could be said to be following God’s will for us, being guided by Angels, or the Universal Mind. When we are not in alignment, we are resisting, struggling, and the negative emotion we are feeling is that indication.

As we see a friend or relative in a place that looks painful for them, and it is also for us if we focus on where they are, we are pretty much helpless to be of assistance, but when we focus on our own alignment first, as in the airline instructions to put your oxygen mask on first, then help others, we can be of service. Then from our own alignment, we can imagine the friend or loved one in the place that is in their best interests for themselves, or in our best imagining of our vision of that healthy, and joyous, whole person.

As we pay attention to this guidance, our lives get better and better and better, and those around us get better and better and better. Those that don’t, disappear.

Being Helpful Means Focusing On The Help, Not The Hurt. 

Spread Some Joy Today–by creating your own joy, then sharing it with the world around you.

We Don’t Know

“Prejudice is to prejudge.
It means that we judge before we know.
We choose or accept a point of view
without care or concern,
and we do that out of fear.”

— Albert K. Strong

One of the more important things to me that I learned from Paul Selig's books expands on the Bible's teaching about judging not lest ye be judged. The sentence that brought this powerfully home to me was this: “You don't know why they came here or what they chose to learn.” That may be slightly paraphrased, but I thought, “wow! that is for sure and for certain.”

In Paul's book, The Book of Love and Creation, that I have so marked up you would laugh if you saw it, here is how he expands on this:

“The moment you understand that you are not the one in authority here in terms of judgment, you can begin to liberate the self. What this means, very simply, is humility. Are you in your humility? Who are you to judge your fellow man for their behavior? Do you know what they have come here to learn? Do you know what their choices are? What pain they have experienced? Or what light may be there for them at the end of their lesson? You do not know. How can you pretend to know at that level? If you are judging them, we promise you this: You do not know. You are in your illusion and in your self-congratulatory-ness, you have given yourself a nice dose of separation from your own knowing and from the flow of the love of the Creator that would work through you.”

Since learning this in this way, I have never forgotten it. When I find myself judging which is a reckless act of the ego, I am in my awareness and will stop pretty quickly now. I realize that I am judging and I do not want to judge anyone else. We have grown up making all manner of judgments about others and we do not know. 

Unconditional love is what allows others to be as they are without any need to satisfy me or comply with my beliefs, rules, or imaginings. That is not like getting on that horse and riding like a champion. It is a practice. Falling off the horse from time to time keeps me in my humility and is a welcome reminder to mind my own business. I am a handful by myself.

Compassion For All

“Seemingly all of a sudden
I realized that I had the capacity 
to love every person and thing.” 

— Albert K. Strong 

Compassion. It’s a word that is bandied about with ease. And my understanding of the word is different from the definition in the dictionary that I just read: “a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.” That’s like saying, “I feel sorry for you and your affliction(s), here’s my ten-step method for curing your ills and releasing your suffering.” Silly.

Compassion to me is a grand word, filled with practical and powerful selfless love without any agenda or need of repair. What a radical difference.

I have to share this beautiful and insightful quote by one of my favorite old “new age” thinkers, Albert Einstein.

“A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.” 

I take issue with only one short phrase: “Our task must be to. . .” There really aren’t any rules, and any observant person of the world around us can see that not so many are accepting this task, regardless of the stature of the person suggesting it. No, it’s not a must. It’s a potential choice. I say potential because we can choose yes and we can choose to ignore it completely.

I have been on this journey of learning to make use of what Abraham, Esther Hicks calls the Art of Allowing. This art or activity is the essence of compassion to me. As I allow others to be what they choose for themselves, and as I don’t insist that they be a certain way on my behalf, I am loving them without condition. There is no better way to define the Art of Allowing to me. 

I’ve been practicing for some time now, but it is only in the most recent years that I have taken off the training wheels so to speak. In releasing myself to practice my own version of compassion in the Art of Allowing, and in expressing and feeling unconditional love, I have come so much closer to the person I truly want to be inside and out.

Telling A New Story

“The past has passed. It is no longer,
except as the stories that we tell today.
Pay attention to the stories as you say them.
You cannot change the past; however,
you can change the story you tell.” 

— Albert K Strong

Gerald Jampolsky, in his book, Love Is Letting Go Of Fear, said, “We seem to consider it “natural” to use our experiences of the past as reference points from which to judge the present. This results in our seeing the present with distorted dark-colored glasses.”

He goes on to say, “To let each second be a new birth experience is to look without condemnation on the present. It results in totally releasing others and ourselves from all the errors of the past. It allows us to breathe in freedom and experience the miracle of Love by sharing this mutual release. It allows for an instant of healing where Love is ever-present, here and now.”

The past was. I cannot change the fact that it was. But, what I can do is tell a different story now:

Hello. I Am Terry, And I AM LOVE. I've Been Loving Since I Decided To Love And I Am Loving Still. Now, I Spread Love Wherever I Go. Today Is The Best Day Of My Life Because It Is Only In Today That I Am Alive!

World Peace Begins With Inner Peace

Will mankind ever be in harmony and am I delusional?

John Mayer said in song that he and his friends were waiting on the world to change. Einstein’s definition of insanity is doing the same things and expecting a different result. They are both spot-on.

As we live in our history and historical traditions and meanings passed down via family and the collective, we want the world to change and yet we keep making the same choices as in a repetitive loop.

I don’t have the power to know when, where, and how to make mankind be in harmony; however, this does not make me powerless, but powerful when I finally realize that the only person I have any power over is myself. This is now the world I live in. It is a powerful world of choice based on the ultimate act of Unconditional Love being Free Will. There would be no such thing as Free Will without Unconditional Love. I get to choose. Not for the world, but for me.

I get to choose Unconditional Love and not continue repeating the claims from my previous living or learning. I get to choose to make my choices from this place of love. I get to embody that love in my being and in my demeanor. I get to share my love with others. I get to see the divine in all other human beings in that Unconditional Love rather than finding fault and assigning blame. I get to live in this way each and every day now and it is the most glorious place to be.

It is worthy of all, and yet, they also have Free Will to choose as they will–what they will think, how they will act, how they will be. That in its perfection is my world now. I cannot change the planet but I can change the planet within myself. In this, I have 100% power and authority. And I do it NOW.

The Power To Change Reality

“If you don't like something, change it;
if you can't change it, change the way you think about it.”

— Mary Engelbreit


“When we are no longer able to change a situation,
we are challenged to change ourselves.”

— Victor Frankl

[Classic post from 8-5-10]

I've heard these sentiments expressed in many ways and each of them instructional. One way that I recently heard it was enlightening and equally empowering. It is this:

We are on two concurrent journeys at the same time. One is our physical journey of what is now. This is reality. It is what it is. It is the facts of the way things are. And, two, is our emotional journey. That is how we choose to feel, though ofttimes, we don't feel that we actually have a choice, but is a default response.

So, the reality is the reality. It is what it is. We can think and feel how we want to about it and if we continually focus on the reality in front of us, we will respond and react to that reality and our thinking and feeling will keep us tied to this reality as being tied to a pole in the ground. The more we talk about reality, feel the reality, share the reality, the more the reality has a hold on us.

In most cases, it is near impossible to change the reality by focusing on the reality. Generally, the only way and also the best and most effective way to change the reality is to begin changing the emotional journey about the reality. In other words, have you feel better and better by changing your thinking and feeling about what is.

Part of this is considering what you want it to be rather than what it is. You can't focus on being broke and not having enough money to pay the bills and have that situation change for the better. But, it can and will change for the better by focusing on what and where you want it to be, living in that fantasy as if it were your reality and it will become your reality. The other part is feeling better and better about where you are right now. It is so powerful to look for the positive aspects in every situation. It empowers one to see their current reality in a softer light. It is still reality, but now softer and more acceptable while you focus on what you want next and where you want to go.

Some of this I was taught as a child. I learned things like, “there is always a silver lining; things will work out for the best if you let them. and I haven't forgotten them, but now have a much more powerful and clear way to change where I am when I am not where I want to be. I change the emotional journey: my thinking and how I feel about my situation, my life, my current reality. Then, I focus my energy on imagining it the way I want it to be. Used together, these two strategies are incredible.

First Step: Lighten Up!! It's Only As Good Or Bad As You Think It And Feel That It Is. Find The Relief Valve And Open It Up.

Spread Some Joy Today–Now that you know an effective way to change, test it and see for yourself, then share it with others. The joy of empowerment is awesome!

Relationships

Everything about living or being alive is about relationships. Even if we were to imagine ourselves as alone and the only person alive on the planet, it would still be true that it is all about relationships. If I am alone, I still have the single most important relationship we ever have which I can choose to ignore but cannot forsake. That is my relationship with my inner being, or my higher self, or the God within, my soul, or any of the hundreds of ways to view that connection and my relationship to it and in it.

This scenario helps to solidify the idea that as I am in alignment within my primary relationship, I may be beneficial and be benefited by relationships with other people.

As I am choosing (it is always a choice) to align within myself to my higher self, I feel the resonating vibration that indicates that alignment, and my emotional state of feeling good also helps indicate I am aligned within. As I choose to be out of alignment for whatever reason I am choosing, I feel the discord of that choice and it is reflected in my emotional state of feeling bad, off, or any of a long list of negative feelings such as frustration, anger, resentment, melancholy, depression, powerlessness, and more.

As we are feeling, or a more accurate way to say that is vibrating, we are attracting more of the same from within ourselves first and then from others outside of ourselves. The Law of Attraction is unerring in its help in drawing like vibrations to us. This applies equally and without prejudice to lower vibrations of disharmony and higher vibrations of complete alignment.

The old saying that the rich get richer and the poor get poorer is a perfect example of how the Law of Attraction aids in the expansion of the choice of mindset. Indeed, rich and poor are simply mindsets, or ideas and are reflected in feelings. Rich is not a condition, it is a state of mind, just as poor is not a condition but a state of mind. We may not have money, but that condition is not being poor. We may have a lot of money but that doesn’t cause us to be rich. Money is an object and being rich is an idea, or a thought, train of thought, mindset. Rich is then a choice or attitude as is being poor.

Whatever the status of alignment in our primary relationship, we will experience those attributes in all our other relationships. This is why people who have had unsatisfactory relationships and then leave that relationship in search of something more satisfying will attract very similar attributes of the relationship they thought they left behind. They haven’t yet come into alignment within so the without cannot change either. The very old wisdom, as within, so without is always true and will always be the wisest advice. Want the outside to change? We must change the inside first. It doesn’t matter if it is a husband and wife or the world order. The solution is always the same: As within, so without.

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