“If you don't like something, change it;
if you can't change it, change the way you think about it.”
— Mary Engelbreit
“When we are no longer able to change a situation,
we are challenged to change ourselves.”
— Victor Frankl
[Classic post from 8-5-10]
I've heard these sentiments expressed in many ways and each of them instructional. One way that I recently heard it was enlightening and equally empowering. It is this:
We are on two concurrent journeys at the same time. One is our physical journey of what is now. This is reality. It is what it is. It is the facts of the way things are. And, two, is our emotional journey. That is how we choose to feel, though ofttimes, we don't feel that we actually have a choice, but is a default response.
So, the reality is the reality. It is what it is. We can think and feel how we want to about it and if we continually focus on the reality in front of us, we will respond and react to that reality and our thinking and feeling will keep us tied to this reality as being tied to a pole in the ground. The more we talk about reality, feel the reality, share the reality, the more the reality has a hold on us.
In most cases, it is near impossible to change the reality by focusing on the reality. Generally, the only way and also the best and most effective way to change the reality is to begin changing the emotional journey about the reality. In other words, have you feel better and better by changing your thinking and feeling about what is.
Part of this is considering what you want it to be rather than what it is. You can't focus on being broke and not having enough money to pay the bills and have that situation change for the better. But, it can and will change for the better by focusing on what and where you want it to be, living in that fantasy as if it were your reality and it will become your reality. The other part is feeling better and better about where you are right now. It is so powerful to look for the positive aspects in every situation. It empowers one to see their current reality in a softer light. It is still reality, but now softer and more acceptable while you focus on what you want next and where you want to go.
Some of this I was taught as a child. I learned things like, “there is always a silver lining; things will work out for the best if you let them. and I haven't forgotten them, but now have a much more powerful and clear way to change where I am when I am not where I want to be. I change the emotional journey: my thinking and how I feel about my situation, my life, my current reality. Then, I focus my energy on imagining it the way I want it to be. Used together, these two strategies are incredible.
First Step: Lighten Up!! It's Only As Good Or Bad As You Think It And Feel That It Is. Find The Relief Valve And Open It Up.
Spread Some Joy Today–Now that you know an effective way to change, test it and see for yourself, then share it with others. The joy of empowerment is awesome!