“You will not be punished for your anger,
you will be punished by your anger."
“Those who are free of resentful
thoughts surely find peace."
[Classic post from 2-26-11]
Anger is a selfish reaction. Something is not going the way we want and so we react, thinking that somehow by expressing our unhappiness about it that it will go away. It will not. The angrier we get, the more of that same pattern we receive. In other words, we find more to get angry about. Surely, they need not even be important things.
When I was a young child less than 5 years old, I remember instances when my father flew into fits of anger. Much of the time it was at my mother or at we kids for not doing something or another. My parents were divorced when I was five and we started with a step-father, who also had anger issues, just not nearly as volatile.
As I lived in these situations as a youngster, I found more of this all around me, and it always irked me, yet I found myself practicing it from habit. It was easy to get angry, and the more I practiced it, the more I found anger available to me. But, I also realized this was not what I wanted. I wanted to be in control rather than out of control, so I began to practice not reacting that way with some success.
Something has happened most recently that has allowed me to not participate when someone might be expressing anger at me or around me in addition to avoiding those reactions at events and with other people. This newfound calmness in the face of fear and anger is so powerful for me that I am very pleased to have come this far.
I have never, ever seen anger solve anything at all. Indeed, I have seen that it only adds to the problem. I love the first quote above as it referenced being punished by our own anger, and I believe that is very true.
Ever try to push a rope? That's what anger has to try to do in the face of calmness.
Here's the really good news. We can all make the decision to change from anger to calmness. I am confident that all will find it to be an incredible blessing.
Calm, Cool, and Collected, Even In Chaos.
Spread Some Joy Today–I think the real secret of calmness is loving ourselves and not allowing anything or any person to change that thought.