“I have yet to find a man, however, exalted his station,
who did not do better work and put forth greater effort
under a spirit of approval than under a spirit of criticism."
— Charles M Schwab
“There is more hunger for love and
appreciation in this world than for bread."
— Mother Teresa
[Classic post from 1-22-11]
Having studied Andrew Carnegie for some time, it is impossible to miss getting to know his right-hand man, Charles M Schwab. In fact, there is a book very much worth reading about Mr. Schwab called Steel Titan. In getting to know Charles Schwab, it was clear that he was an artist at dealing with people and he was famous for getting people to do things well through a spirit of approval instead of a spirit of criticism.
Love and appreciation have to be at or nearest the top of what people really want in virtually every situation. That subject is the basis for one of the world's most helpful books, How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. It is also a must-read that never will go out of style and is full of value to the reader.
When I saw these two quotes together, I thought about these three leaders, and I also thought about the need and desire for approval that we all have. I thought about it specifically about myself and my own desire for approval that was a driving force in my life. What I realized in looking at this is that most of my life I felt that I was lacking in enough or the proper approval and I used to find that frustrating. At some point in the very recent past, I've let go of the need for it. It's not that I don't appreciate it when it is given to me, it's just that I no longer crave it as I did before.
What's also interesting to realize is that the need for approval has dissipated since I decided to give it to others everywhere I go. It might be an approving glance, a thank you spoken aloud, saying I love you aloud, showing love by doing something courteous or nice or unexpected. I just sent notes to people out of the blue to tell them I was thinking of them and was appreciating them, and those are always very well received. I am always looking at what I can compliment someone on. Maybe they have a new hair style, have lost weight, look especially sharp that day, have a wonderful smile, exude confidence. I seem to always find something to compliment people on and they just love it.
And, guess what? Now that I'm not looking for it for myself and giving it away in droves, I find that I feel more love every day, so in effect, it is coming back to me in greater quantity. Who knew?
Focus On Others For Your Own Benefit.
Spread Some Joy Today–there is such joy in spreading it around you.