“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance."
— Oscar Wilde
[Classic post from 9-5-11]
It's funny to me how long it takes to really get a thought. Real understanding is not the same as knowing.
When I was young, we used to see a few kids and call them conceited, or full of themselves. Another word was being a show-off. In my twenties, the idea was presented about loving ourselves, and of course, I agreed with the concept but didn't really believe it, if you know what I mean. I always seemed to keep associating that concept with the word conceit. Later there were other things that seemed to get in the way, or at least to confuse the issue further, yet I think most of us may have accepted the idea that loving ourselves was a good thing, but just didn't quite know how to do that so that we felt it rather than just thought it.
So, I realized that conceit is not even close to love. Instead, it is thinking that one is better than everyone else. That certainly makes it an unloving act.
The other idea that was a roadblock was the phrase, self-centered. I am told that is a negative thing and that to be self-centered is to deny the Creator, yet I am now believing that is just bunk. It's that old, does the Earth revolve around the Sun or does the Sun revolve around the Earth, or is the Earth the center of the Universe or not, thoughts. Besides, it seems to me that being centered would be a good thing–and certainly having my self centered.
One last idea that was a roadblock is this idea of being selfless. That's one of those “should" words to many of us, but the idea is that we put ourselves last and others first and that this act is an act of love. I used to buy that, but I'm not buying it anymore. Worst case scenario is we need to value ourselves AND everyone else too.
Loving ourselves is likened more to acceptance and appreciation of ourselves. This also acknowledges a Creator as a necessary part. After all, we didn't design ourselves. I am learning to love myself, by treating myself as valuable, as special, as unique, as lovable. I am learning to love myself for who I am, who I've become, and to accept responsibility for all of that. I feel that I have more capacity to love others as I love myself.
Lately, I've even begun a program of treating myself on a regular basis to things and experiences that I am really interested in. A bit of a reward I suppose, and well deserved, I might add.
Love Is Never Having To Say I'm Not Worthy.
Spread Some Joy Today–Write yourself a little love letter. Tell yourself what you like about yourself and how special you are. Now, let yourself read it, enjoy it and believe it.