We Are Always In Control Of What Goes On Inside Us

You know, in all of my studies, I have found that it is the simplest things that are the most real and offer the most hope to change. One of them is this awesome quote by one of my early mentors, Wayne Dyer. He says, ‘Self-worth comes from one thing: thinking that you are worthy.’ That is so well said and so absolutely true. Feeling unworthy is rather easily turned around by DECIDING to feel worthy. It is a simple and effortless decision of choice.

Another simple, effortless way is from another mentor, Anthony Robbins. He says that to make an immediate change, change your state. As he expanded, he says that to feel a certain way has certain physical characteristics, and when you change the physical characteristics, you change the feeling. (It’s fascinating how the mind and body work together this way). So, you get up and move dramatically. Go run, go walk, climb Mt Everest, swim the channel, or at least one lap in the pool–anything, just move with enthusiasm!

Another simple, effortless way is another from Wayne Dyer: “It is impossible for you to be angry [or helpless, hopeless, depressed] and laugh at the same time. [They] are mutually exclusive and you have the power to choose either.” This is what I love about getting around my business partner in person–he makes me laugh every time and we laugh together much. That is special and I recommend finding people like that and being around them as often as you need to. In addition to this, funny movies are great too, along with Comedy Central, funny YouTube or other channel videos, and more. Last night I watched a favorite, Down Periscope, and laughed all over again.

One more simple, effortless way is again from Wayne: “The last suit that you wear, you don’t need any pockets.” Great insight into what is important in life. IT’S LIFE! Everything else is trivial in comparison. When you’re in the casket, does it matter to you how much money you had or how famous you were, or how many problems you had? It just doesn’t matter. What matters is feeling alive and living your life and having a ball doing it and having control, and the way to have control is by these simple, effortless things that make you the pinball machine instead of the ball.

“You Cannot Always Control What Goes On Outside. But You Can Always Control What Goes On Inside.”

— Wayne Dyer

Choosing To Relax Instead Of Struggle

“Where there is no struggle,
there is no strength.”
 
— Oprah Winfrey
 
 
“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned,
so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.”
 
— Joseph Campbell
 
 
 
[Classic post from 4-27-11]
 
Today the word struggle popped into my head. I looked at quotes about struggle and they were all like Oprah's quote above–all about life is a struggle, the strong survive, etc., etc.
 
I guess there are a lot of ways to go about a thing and struggle is certainly one of them; however, in my recent life, I have found a far better way for me: letting go of struggle and getting into relaxing my way. It's not that I don't work, because I do and I also work a lot, but it really isn't work–it's joy, fun, excitement, interesting and satisfying.
 
It reminds me of the old game we played as kids called “tug-of-war.” There's a puddle of mud in the middle and people on both sides pulling against each other's team until one team is pulled into the mud. I always found it much more fun to just let go of the rope, but then the rest of the team thought I wasn't a team player. It's true, I'm sure.
 
I've noticed that life is like that game of tug-of-war, in that I see people pulling, tugging, coercing, manipulating, trying to win the tug, and back and forth it goes. Then the game spreads to most others and everyone is struggling in one way or another.
 
I have found the best solution for me is to let go of the rope. Think about it. It is in the letting go that stress no longer exists, worries no longer penetrate, and joy is possible.
 
I was talking with someone close yesterday and they were saying how someone took advantage of them and it was wrong and this and that and how they were going to confront them and take the things back and all that dribble. I told her that this was one way, but it wouldn't help the situation. The best thing to do is to just let go of the rope. Let go? she said. . . it was just plain wrong. I said, well, that is purely a judgment call, and of course, you can certainly make it, but what will you get out of that? Certainly no joy, just more stress, unhappiness, and the like.
 
So, letting go is the best answer I have and I practice it a lot now. I let go of so many things and it is quite interesting how much better I feel and how much better I perform as a result. I let go of those judgments, disappointments, fears. Who needs that stuff? Oh yes, the strugglers. . . no gain without pain. . . okay, they can have it their way, and I'll have it mine.
 
 
One Of My Favorite Book Titles Says It Very Well:
“Love Is Letting Go Of Fear” By Gerald Jampolsky.
 
Spread Some Joy Today–What is that so important grudge you've been holding dear to you awaiting the final judgment? Is it bringing joy? Consider dropping the rope.

Not Allowing Bullies Or Victims To Rule

 “I have found no greater satisfaction than achieving success
through honest dealing and strict adherence to the view that,
for you to gain, those you deal with should gain as well.”
 
— Alan Greenspan
 
 
 
[Classic post from 8-24-11]
 
I’ve done business with people for over 43 years, and I’ve always felt that each transaction must have two winners–the seller and the buyer–with no losers, otherwise, it isn’t a sale but robbery or theft.
 
Back in the mid-1970s, I was a new sales manager and had held that title for a year or so when I hired an experienced car salesman at the dealership I worked at. I normally liked to hire someone never in the car business and teach them the way I wanted, but I took the easy way this time. He was older and could have been wiser, but I overheard him putting down the dealership on the showroom floor with a couple of the other salespeople. He had only been there about a week and a half, and I called him into the office and fired him on the spot.
 
In over 30 years in the car business, I had just three or four customers where I did the same thing. One young girl and her overbearing mother came in and bought a Camaro. Then the stuff hit the fan and we were accused of all sorts of ridiculous things. Although it is extremely rare in the car business to give people their money back, I bought the car back, refunded their money in full, and politely asked them to go somewhere else to buy. They were shocked, and I was relieved greatly.
 
Yes, I fired the customer and the salesman, but here’s the deal–I was giving value and not getting any in return. It wasn’t a mutually beneficial arrangement. It needs to be win-win. Sometimes it is in the best interests of the seller to not sell or to unsell. Some unhappy clients we can live with because they have a problem, they’re upset, but they understand that we can take care of it and usually allow us to do so and it all works out well. In fact, some of those go on to be the best clients because they got to see how things were handled when they weren’t sure how we would handle it and they became convinced and became loyal clients as a result.
 
Then there are a very few others that make the hair on the back of your head stand up as a warning of things to come that don’t appear very pleasant. Best to cut that cord as early as possible. I have learned that there are some clients that I don’t want to deal with at all and they wouldn’t benefit our company and our objectives. This is a situation where I completely ignore the dollars of potential profit for the sake of my sanity and peace.
 
 
You Can Feel It When It Is Happening. . . Go Not Vindictively, But With Your Feeling. It’s Really An Act Of Love Of Yourself And The Other!
 
Spread Some Joy Today–Maybe today would be a good day to take a little walk outdoors in nature and just let your eyes gorge on the beauty that surrounds you.

When The Student Is Ready, The Teacher Is Delighted

 “The pupil can only educate himself.
Teachers are the custodians of apparatus
upon which he himself must turn and twist
to acquire the excellencies that distinguish
the better from the poorer of God’s vessels.”
 
— Martin H Fischer
 
 
 
[Classic post from 8-26-11]
 
Today, I got to do one of my favorite things. I got to give a class that I call Commercial Trucks 101. I’ve done it well over a hundred times to over a thousand people over time. I’ve been teaching this class since 1995 and since it is mostly based on fundamentals, it really hasn’t changed. I think it is a great class because there are some unique ways complicated information is made simple, and also memorable.
 
What does change is the participants, or students and what they bring to the class. Some come because they were told to. I can live with that. Some come with an attitude that indicates they are not the least bit interested. I’ve been known to radically eject them. Most are at least mildly interested for a wide variety of reasons, and generally, the class is a bit of fun and there is good participation which makes it more fun for everyone, including me.
 
Once in a while, I get the rare and distinct privilege to have students who show up early and demonstrate they are really interested and today was one of those occasions. I even stayed an hour over and extended the training because they were so receptive to it.
 
I give it my best each and every time I give this class regardless of who is attending, and I so appreciate those that come ready to hear, learn, and do. It makes my day, and today I enjoyed this immensely.
 
This is one of the things I do that I love to do. Whenever I do something that I really love to do, I seem to excel at it and am thrilled by it at the same time. Even if only part of a day or part of a week goes like that, any other obstacles are insignificant in comparison.
 
 
When The Student Is Ready, The Teacher Is Delighted!
 
Spread Some Joy Today–Do something that you love to do! Just for the joy of it.

All That Is Left Are The Decisions

 “No matter what the level of your ability, you have more
potential than you can ever develop in a lifetime.”
 
— James T McCay
 
 
 
[Classic post from 7-28-11]
 
I have come to believe that I have barely scratched the surface of my potential and that I am constantly expanding. The good news about that is that it seems to not only have no end but no maximum.
 
 
All That Is Left Are The Decisions…
 
Spread Some Joy Today–Find someone to compliment today and make it great! Try a couple more!

Choosing What I Focus Upon

 “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble,
whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely,
whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent
or praiseworthy–think about such things.”
 
— Philippians 4:8, NIV, The Bible
 
 
“Why should we think upon things that are lovely?
Because thinking determines life.
It is a common habit to blame life upon the environment.
Environment modifies life but does not govern life.
The soul is stronger than its surroundings.”
 
— William James
 
 
“The more man meditates upon good thoughts,
the better will be his world and the world at large.”
 
— Confucius
 
 
 
[Classic post from 4-30-11]
 
I don’t often quote The Bible, but the Philippians quote above is one of my favorites because it continues to guide me to focus on what is going to be most beneficial to my psyche and it encourages love through the act of appreciation. Then William James says it how it is according to what I have learned, that thinking determines life and finding appreciation or things to appreciate keeps us from blame, which is the opposite of appreciation–indeed, it is depreciation. I love the Confucius quote in this mix of quotes because it says it all so succinctly in that the more we focus on good thoughts, the better everything looks and feels.
 
I would take it considerably further by being open to seeing things we would not normally think of as lovely, or good, and pretend they are. After all, what is lovely or good are judgments as much as what is not, but the main reason is that they all serve us if we will but be open to that possibility.
 
Can a forest fire also be a benefit? How about a crippling disease? A financial disaster? There are so many examples of things that we might normally think are bad, where it turned out to be the best thing for a wide variety of reasons. Think of some of the famous people who have had devastating losses and come back even stronger and more focused, and even more successful. Or, people who have come back from a crippling accident or disease where they refused to blame circumstance and events and instead counted it as a blessing.
 
It seems to me that as we blame, we hold ourselves away from the potential of joy and happiness–even as we may think by finding fault not on our court that we indemnify ourselves from harm. As I have seen it around me and in my own life, that blame game is a self-inflicted wound and does more damage to me than anyone else. As Nelson Mandela stated (although he used the word resentment, which is virtually the same idea as blame. . .): “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.” So, blame is like trying to make yourself look faultless, and in so doing create personal harm, through resentment and anger.
 
The best answer I have found is to forget all about blame and when I find myself playing one of those old tapes from memory, turn to focus on good thoughts, things of beauty, excellence, and such, in appreciation of them for the purpose of getting back into alignment with love. It is in purposely and actively practicing this that I find even more to appreciate and find ever more beauty and excellence. Therein is a fountain of joy that one would not know existed otherwise.
 
 
When I Focus On Beauty, Excellence, and What I Think Is Right and Good, I Feel Great. Seems Like A Good Enough Reason To Focus There.
 
Spread Some Joy Today–The best way to spread joy is to be experiencing it!

Choosing Freedom By Cutting The Rope

 “Faced with the choice between changing one's
mind and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.”
 
— John Kenneth Galbraith
 
 
“People have a hard time letting go of their suffering.
Out of fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.”
 
— Thich Nhat Hanh
 
 
 
[Classic post from 8-23-11]
 
Tie a rope 10' long to your leg, fasten the other end to a post in the ground, and no matter which direction you choose to travel, you can not get more than 10' from the post. Now, cut yourself some slack and tie a 30' rope to your leg, and fasten the other end to a post in the ground. Now no matter what direction you decide to go, you cannot go further than 30' feet. But it might feel better. You might feel more freedom, more flexibility, maybe even more joy.
 
Then, when some person comes along with a crazy notion to cut the rope entirely and says that you can now travel as far as you desire in any direction, we may find ourselves so comfortable with where we have been that the idea of not having a rope attached to our leg and the pole is ludicrous.
 
Most often, things must build up until there develops a strong desire to change before new information will get through, or before the rope is lengthened, released from its tether, or even removed completely. I say hallelujah to that day! It is a day of decision and releasing fear (or ignoring it) to see things from a different perspective. You've grown and felt the excitement of that growth and in those new-fangled ideas and thoughts. You're eager for more and becoming ever more grateful for the opportunities that initial decision has allowed you.
 
Things are different now. You're a different person. Not so different that people won't recognize you, but you feel so far removed from where you were inside, that you project that confidence and growth on the outside, and people notice it. They may not understand it or agree with your decision, but they notice it. It is unmistakable.
 
Okay, now go back to the 10' rope, put it back on your leg and the post. Heck, bypass the 10' one and go straight to the 30' rope that used to feel good enough to you. Now it feels as if life as you now know it is over, doesn't it? You can't go back. You refuse to go back. It is virtually impossible to go back. And, the good news is that there will never be a good enough reason to ever go back.
 
 
Go Onward From Here. There Are More Ropes To Cut.
 
Spread Some Joy Today–It's always a good idea to check your comfort zone. Experiencing some expansion is how growth happens. Untie your rope just for today and see how that feels.

Choosing To Live In Fear Or Love

“Anxiety is love’s greatest killer. It makes others feel
as you might when a drowning man holds on to you.
You want to save him, but you know he will
strangle you with his panic.”
 
— Anais Nin
 
 
 
[Classic post from 6-9-11]
 
When people give me an argument, I do my best to answer it with common sense or learned knowledge, and if they persist, I may swim upstream with them a stroke or two, then I will suddenly let go and float away downstream relaxing in my peace and calm.
 
I was talking with a prospect the other day who is the owner of a small business. He expressed some fear of the Internet, in particular, social media and specifically, Facebook. He told me a short story, then another. I tried sense. He told another. Finally, I turned to him and said matter-of-factly, “if you are afraid of the Internet, then I suggest that you avoid the Internet and keep doing what you are doing now.” Then he started another fearful story, and I said, “whatever is on the Internet is not private, so if you are fearful of what goes on in the Internet world, stay out of it; however, I suggest the alternative of getting over it so you can use the medium to grow your business effectively.”
 
I could see he had some more stories ready for me, but I wasn’t having any of it. I said goodbye politely and left. If people don’t want to swim or don’t know how they should stay out of the water. The alternative is getting in or taking lessons and getting on with life.
 
I absolutely love the Internet. I think it is tantamount to the greatest invention of all time–certainly, it is in terms of information being widely and freely available to all. So, to me, it is extremely beneficial and valuable. To some, it is something to fear and tell stories about, but then again, I feel they have a propensity to do that without the influence of the Internet. How we think about things affects and creates our own world.
 
 
Live In Fear, Or Live In Love. We All Get To Choose.
 
Spread Some Joy Today–Listen to the stories you tell others. If it’s not uplifting, tell a new story. If you don’t know one, make one up.

Loving Things In Our Own Special Way

“I still get wildly enthusiastic
about little things. . .
I play with leaves.
I skip down the street
and run against the wind.”
 
— Leo Buscaglia
 
 
 
 
 
[Classic post from 11-30-11]
 
I love this time of year. It’s just a bit chilly, highs in the low 60’s, lows around 40, a touch of fog in the morning, sun in the afternoon. Leaves are taking their sweet time turning colors other than green, then falling gently to the ground, and right about now they are coming down in the thousands as you can see by the sidewalk in the photo.
 
I took Charlie the little black dog out for a walk and he’s not nearly as fond of this time of year as me. I had to take a photo of some of the huge leaves that are as big as he is, and he is afraid of them when the wind moves them around, especially when the wind moves them toward him. If it is calm, he’s brave enough though, yet he would rather walk around them than over them whenever that option is available.
 
I read a Leo Buscaglia book way back in the 1970s about him having a class over at his house and his neighbor coming over to complain about the leaves on his lawn. So the lover that he is, invited guests to help rake the leaves into bags and he brought them into the house and spread them all over the living room floor. Everyone was happy then.
 
I’ve always remembered that story, although I cannot remember which book, nor can I find it. So, out and about a day or two ago, I took some shots on my camera phone of some of these leaves all over the walkway. I wanted to sweep them up and put them all over the living room floor at my house. Of course, that would never work unless I lived alone.
 
Yet, I love leaves. I love seeing them all over the patio and driveway and have no interest in blowing them away or raking them up. In fact, I am done with the lawn mowing and now all the leaves that are there will remain until spring. It’s winter food for the nightcrawlers and I love watching them gather them into piles and feast on them while I sleep.
 
Other people prefer clean walkways, clean patios and all that. I’m happy for them that they like those things, but I just don’t share that feeling. The leaves add character, color, and a comfortable, relaxing view, even enhancing the concrete as far as I’m concerned.
 
So, I thank Leo every year about now for sharing that wonderful and enduring story. Thanks, Leo! I love you!
 
 
We All Love Things In Our Own Special Way
 
Spread Some Joy Today–How are you doing on your love list? Remember? Write, ‘I love. . .’ at the top of the page and then write as many things as you can, then add a few each day or each week. It’s fun and expands your joy rather easily.

Happily Ignorant and Blissfully Confident

 “All you need in this life is ignorance and
confidence, and then success is sure.”
 
— Mark Twain
 
 
 
[Classic post from 6-13-11]
 
A formidable combination, don't you think? You don't know that it can't be done, and yet have confidence that you can do it. It's magical.
 
Yesterday, I talked about secrets of success and how many there are and shared one of my top ten. This is also in my top ten, and I can assure you that may not believe it to be true, but the sentiment and advice in this quote by Mark Twain is spot on. I've used it numerous times to achieve results.
 
Sometimes, the best and most productive thing you can do is to tune out the rest of the world in pursuit of what you believe in or what you want. There are plenty who will gladly give advice in the form of warnings and what if's and a list of the logical reasons why something won't work or cannot succeed, and how much better it will be for you to wait until. . .and of course, there is a list there as well.
 
Friends and relatives and other well-meaning people have helped discourage a serious number of potential entrepreneurs. It is generally the ones who don't listen to that advice that are able to be successful by making great use of their ignorance and confidence together. It's the one, two punch!
 
 
I'm Happily Ignorant and Blissfully Confident!
 
Spread Some Joy Today–Tell someone you love them today. Here's a cool way that works for me: I say, “have I told you I love you lately?” It's magical.
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